If I told you I was certain of the next “big thing” in football, was that something you’d be interested in?  What if I went further, and said he’s already an accomplished European international at the ripe age of 20?  That he’s playing for a club masquerading as a feeder club like it’s Halloween all day every damn day?  That he has a “power name” unmatched since the 1st coming of Ever Banega?

Ladies and gentleman, I give you Eden Hazard.

(TIMEOUT: Okay, I know the buildup I just chucked at you isn’t quite fair.  Check this out… I am a 28-year-old striker.  I’ve played for PSV, Ajax, Real Madrid, and Milan.  I have 28 goals in 46 CAPS for the Netherlands.  Who am I?  Klaas-Jan Huntelaar.   Easily the frontrunner for most-impressive-resumé-to-outhouse-player…ever.)

Just trust me on Hazard.  The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, ****heads – they all adore him. They think he’s a righteous dude…  Better yet, trust your own eyes via the above video.  The kid just has it.

FUN FACT: In real life, Ed Rooney is a registered sex offender. What's that, you aren't surprised?

Hazard’s style bears a striking resemblance to that of a young Cristiano Ronaldo.  He’s got every trick in the book, loves to show off, and has that same lanky sort of running style where his legs hypnotize defenders– which is saying something, considering Hazard stands only 5 foot 8.  Position-wise, he’s that new winger/forward hybrid that’s been reinvented by Ronaldo, Messi, Suarez, and Sanchez (another player Hazard resembles a bit).  You throw him anywhere along the frontline and watch him drop bombs on your moms.

Once Hazard figures out that chicks dig goals more than fancy dribbling, he’ll be an absolute monster– just like Ronaldo.  In fact, let’s take a little statistical peek at where Hazard’s club career is at:

2008-2009:  35 appearances, 6 goals, 3 assists

2009-2010: 52 appearances, 10 goals, 9 assists

2010-2011: 52 appearances, 12 goals, 10 assists

Since Hazard had his breakout season (aged 17), he’s consistently proven himself to be a “10 goal-10 assist” attacker over the course of a full season.  At the very least, that’s worth £20-25m in today’s market.  And that’s (quite safely) the worst case scenario, if he never allows his style to mature into something more meaningful.  Considering he’s probably purchasable for around £30m this year, that wouldn’t be the worst return on your investment.  And since he’s so young, he could give you 10-10 for at least half a dozen years, or you could resell him for decent value.  (More on his future in a minute).

But what if he learned from the path of the Greasy One (never thought I’d say those words)?  What if a top manager molded him into a harbinger of pestilence and destruction?  Check this out, and tell me you don’t think the sky’s the limit.

Cristiano Ronaldo (age 17-20):

2003-2004: 40 appearances, 6 goals, 3 assists

2004-2005: 50 appearances, 9 goals, 4 assists

2005-2006: 47 appearances, 12 goals, 7 assists.

Hardly mind-blowing stats.  Achieving them for Manchester United in England is probably on par with Hazard’s slightly better numbers in the French league.  But here’s what happened when Ronaldo began a season at 20-years-old.  (Most recent 2 seasons with Real Madrid in Spain, but you knew that, huh).

2006-2007: 53 appearances, 23 goals, 19 assists

2007-2008: 49 appearances, 42 goals, 8 assists

2008-2009: 53 appearances, 26 goals, 9 assists

2009-2010: 35 appearances, 33 goals, 7 assists

2010-2011: 54 appearances, 53 goals, 14 assist

Holy Superfly.  Ronaldo’s statistical jump in 2006 would make Barry Bonds blush.  Perhaps even more impressive are his two seasons at Madrid after earning his massive contract.  Based on his personal life, it’d be easy to assume Ronaldo would mail it in once he had pockets guacamole.  But a 53 goal tally last season doesn’t just say otherwise, it screams it.

Come at me, bro!

So where does Eden Hazard go from here?  For the young Belgian, it’s clear his future isn’t at Lille.  It would be like Genghis Khan being too scared to ever leave Mongolia.  The following are the most likely destinations for our epic hero.

Arsenal:  Would’ve been the perfect fit.  Think about it.  A French-speaking manager with a penchant for giving major responsibility to young players.  A French-speaking ensemble of players that play attractive, attacking football.  Champions League opportunities and a major city to make his home… Perfect.  Only, two things have screwed it up.  First, Arsenal are already in serious danger of missing the top four this year (uh, duh).  More importantly, I can’t see how Lille would ever do business with Arsenal following the Park Chu-Young incident.  I mean, Arsenal “pulled the robbery” on Lille so hard, The Situation would’ve been proud.  Nice one, Wenger.

Man United:  Would be a solid, but potentially risky play for Hazard.  Learning from Ferguson (as Ronaldo did) could definitely transform him into the goal hawk he ought to be.  But Nani, Young, and Valencia aren’t exactly old geezers yet.  And Rooney and Hernandez are going nowhere.  Getting an extended run out would be a difficult prospect, and the last thing he needs is to stifle his development.

Chelsea:  Where good players go to die.  Kidding (or am I?).  Mata and Malouda should have the wings locked down, and you get the feeling Abramovich won’t give up on Torres so soon.  (And if he does, boy will Torres look sadder than Sad Keanu).  With Drogba, Anelka, and Lukaku in the picture too you get the same overcrowding issue he’d have at United.  There’s some risk there.

Man City:  Well, he’d be paid well.  And even with their talent, I could see Hazard slotting into the starting lineup right away.  Only problem isn’t the players in front of him, but those he’d find looking over his shoulders.  Who would Man City buy next?  That’d be his major concern.  Also, what assurances would he have with managerial continuity?  One day Mancini could disappear into the night, gone ’til November.  Hazard needs some stability in his career.

Tottenham:  Haha, sorry.  I just needed a laugh.

Liverpool:  Has all the right elements for him.  Hands-on, grooming manager in Dalglish.  A solid team, but one that is desperate for a player at his position.  The drawbacks at Liverpool are, of course, likely half the wages offered by the Big Wallet Clubs and still some uncertainty of Champions League football.  Also, there’s the Joe Cole effect.  Cole’s loan spell could butter Lille up to the Hazard deal if he plays like 2005 Joe Cole.  But it could cause seriously bad blood if he plays like uh, normal Joe Cole.

Barcelona:  No.  It just wouldn’t be fair for videogame purposes.  Besides, too many superstars already.  What position would he play, keeper?

Real Madrid:  Two Ronaldo’s could be a corrosive mixture.  Hey, I like chocolate and I like sushi, but sometimes you just gotta know when too much good stuff isn’t right.  Double Ronaldo’s?  What does it mean?!  Seriously, it would just be another impulse buy for Madrid.  I can’t see it happening.  It would make as much sense as the Red Hot Chili Peppers asking Kreayshawn to direct one of their music videos.

Any other Spanish team:  Would be one giant step sideways.  Maybe Malaga get indignant with their money and just throw it at him.  Who knows?  But it merely wouldn’t be progress for Hazard.  Actually, make that any other team in France, too.  Just delaying inevitable greatness.

AC Milan:  A surprisingly good fit.  Ibra is still the top dog in the center, who would link up very well with Hazard.  Pato would compete a little, but an aging Cassano would likely give way for Hazard.  The only drawback is the current culture at Milan.  Robinho might be the worst role model Hazard could have, and Ibra isn’t exactly known as the most industrious trainer himself.  It sure would be fun to watch Hazard in black and red though.  Never doubt what Galliani has up his ruffled sleeves.

Juventus:  Masters in under-performing.  It would take a Herculean display of improvement this season for Juve to enter the Hazard conversation.  The decline of Serie A isn’t doing them many favors, that’s for sure.  And who can take them seriously since Eljero Elia punked them by publicly announcing he was too good for them, then Juve signing him anyway.  They’re like the other girl who keeps telling herself “he’ll break up with her for me one day, as long as I keep making myself super available (read: easy) for him!”

Inter:  A bit of a Catch-22.  They’d probably only pursue Hazard if Sneijder left; but if Sneijder leaves, they’d officially become the most boring team in the world and lose their appeal to the Belgian.  If Inter really wanted to boost their entertainment value, shoot a reality show following ex-striker Eto’o in Siberia.  You could edit it for a weekly program to air immediately before Inter matches.  Make a drinking game out of it based on how many times he gets A) extorted by the mob B) racially abused C) legs broken by the mob.  (Actually, scrap that.  REAL reality television is just sad).   Anyway, my gut says Hazard ends up in the Premier League, so maybe I’ve just being biased against non-English clubs.   Chocolate and sushi, man.

"Sammy E. Does the Caspian Sea"

Bayern Munich:  Interesting choice, and really the only serious contender from Germany (sorry Dortmund).  He could probably come to dominate the entire league more quickly than he would in England or Spain, but the biggest test would come from his own teammates.  Robben and Ribery are hurricane-proof, and Muller only has the entire hopes of his country pinned on his back.  Hazard would have to become great to make it at Bayern, or else.

So there you have it.  Now watch Hazard go to Porto or some wack club and waste everyone’s time.  Like Neymar, Eden Hazard has the whole world at his feet.  He can be hotter than a baby in a parking lot in the valley, or he can simply atrophy.  Does he want to be Cristiano Ronaldo or Ricardo Quaresma?  See, you already had to jog your memory to recall that name.  Hope Hazard doesn’t become another Youtube prodigy long forgotten…

So you stuck around for Part Two.  I congratulate you on that; this is where we peer inside a large Liverpudlian skull and do our best to figure what precisely Wayne Rooney was thinking when he handed in a transfer request.  Easier said than done, I’ll admit – “Rooney” certainly sounds Irish enough to me, and I know what Freud said about the Irish being completely impervious to psychoanalysis.  But let’s give it a go, shall we?

Let me repeat the crux of Part One: United fans really loved Rooney.  I wasn’t pontificating on recent United history solely to show off.  As I said, Rooney was the first United player since Cantona to be both a superstar and a true fan favourite.  It’s not hard to see why.  He had that magical combination of tremendous skill, incredibly energy (fans of the English game, for better or worse, gravitate to these players.  See entry “Carlos Tevez”), and most importantly, a heart-on-the-sleeve loyalty to the club (again, see “Carlos Tevez”…or not).  Frankly, the fact that Rooney’s quite hideous to look at didn’t hurt either.  He’s just a normal bloke, really, except for being a tremendously gifted footballer.  None of that Ronaldo pretty boy nonsense.

[Editor's Note:  I can vouch for Ravi's longtime disdain for Ronaldo.  Never have I seen such an anti-celebration from a United fan when Ravi witnessed Ronaldo score a goal for his team.  The look on his face alone was what got me through the 2007-2008 season.]

You see, there are two types of United fans in the world.  There are those who follow United because we’ve been tremendously successful.  Let’s face it, we all like to be winners.  Who knows how it would have turned out for me if United hadn’t won the league the first year I supported them?  Maybe I would have said “Enough of this rubbish.”  But I doubt I would have, because there is the second type of fan, who  is enamoured of history and tradition.  And part of that tradition is Manchester being an industrial town, full of ordinary, hardworking people.  I’ll admit that I’ve never been, so maybe this is just a romantic image I’ve got in my head.  Nor should I pretend that this goes only for United and Liverpool.  Every team has its diehards, and its fair weather fans.  Such is the sporting life.  But do yourself a favour and go re-read Seve’s recent piece on the difference between Chelsea and Liverpool, and you’ll understand why I’ve always gotten along better with Type 2 Liverpool fans than Type 1 United fans.  And for like-minded United fans, no-one appealed better to those instincts than Wayne Rooney.

I think Rooney understood this.  The affinity was mutual. So why would he endanger that legacy?

The question isn’t purely rhetorical by the way.  I have gone over this question many, many times in my head, trying to see it from different viewpoints.  Seve asked me for my reaction to this saga five months ago, and if I’d been honest, my first reaction was unprintable, but something along the lines of “Greedy bastard.” Like most first reactions, it was visceral – and far too simplistic.

As fans, we project our love of the club on the players (and expect them to feel the same way).  Yet there’s a strange contradiction in how we feel.  We feel cheated and let down because most of us wish we were good enough to play at the top level.  But we completely ignore the fact that if we were actually good enough to play professionally, we would probably act the same way they do.

The standard argument goes something like this: Professional athletes have a narrow window in which to capitalize on their prodigious talents.  They have families like you or me, and want to provide for their loved ones.

The standard riposte is this: “Yes, players have a right to earn as much as they can, but when is enough enough?”

Sure, he wanted more money.  But as with most human endeavours, football players see themselves in relative terms.  It wasn’t necessarily the money Rooney craved but the symbolism of him being installed as the club’s top earner – proof of the ushering in of the Rooney Era.  Of course, it’s a strange way to show your desire to be the club talisman by handing in a transfer request.  But I believe him when he said he never wanted to leave.  Where could he possibly have gone? There are few clubs that offer a better chance of winning titles, and none of those realistically had the financial firepower or desire to launch a big bid for Rooney (City – money, but less likely to bring titles in the near term; Chelsea – not significantly more money or brighter near term outlook; no Italian clubs with real money; no Spanish club that really seemed to need him.)

And even if you still think Rooney is just a mercenary, one thing I simply cannot tolerate is fans going to his house to threaten him and his family.  That element crossed the line between “Passion” and “Lunacy”.  I have never understood fans who send death threats to players and referees.  Sure, it’s nice to quote (misquote actually – look up the actual quote!) Bill Shankly on football being more important life or death, but fans who threaten violence do a great disservice to the memory of actual tragedies in the sport’s history, like Munich or Heysel.

Please don’t get me wrong.  The Rooney affair has left a very bad taste in my mouth, and he has a long way to climb back into the pantheon of United greats.  That goal against City helped a little – but not much, truth be told.  He was playing a very dangerous game, and one that English football fans have much less patience for than cynical American sports fans.  But fans are a fickle bunch themselves. These days, everyone and his mother seem ready to knight Ryan Giggs but I’ll never forget him being booed and written off in 2003.  I’ve even heard fans demand Alex Ferguson be sacked – apostasy of the highest order, if you ask me.

Again, we’re all bloody hypocrites, the lot of us.  I’ve taken a somewhat charitable view of the whole affair because it’s been five months, Wayne stayed, and we’re still top of the league.  If he’d gone to City, and they were top of the league, maybe I’d be parading outside his house with a hood over my head.

But there is one reason above all others why I have sympathy for Rooney’s actions: He said what nobody wanted to hear.  Most United fans, including me reacted with indignation – how dare he say this club isn’t good enough!  And even more so given the subpar season he had produced up till that point!  Five months on though, I realize this: The truth of the message does not depend on its source.  It would have been nice if he hadn’t been asking for money while launching the criticism, but surely the cracks have only become clearer in past 10 days.  Really, I wish I’d gotten this piece out a little earlier – I look far less prescient after two damaging losses to close rivals. I’m not one to overreact to minor blips, but the signs have been painfully clear since Ronaldo and Tevez left.

So where does this leave us? Awaiting Part Three, that’s where.  In the next (and final) installment of the Rooney Saga, I want to dissect the current United team a bit more, and how Mr. Rooney fits in to this picture.  Love him or hate him, Rooney is a United player, and bringing out the best in him will be crucial if this team is to rekindle the spirit of ’99.

[Stay tuned for Part Three.]

[Editor's Note:  In October 2010, in the wake of Wayne Rooney's transfer request submission, I asked a good friend of mine to give me his thoughts as a Manchester United supporter.  The following saga is told entirely and exclusively by Mr. Ravi Varghese.  We can only hope that he doesn't keep us waiting another few months for Part Deux.  Enjoy.]

I promised Seve this piece 3 months ago.  I’d like to claim that I waited to let my perspective develop, but truth be told, I got distracted.  Still, like Roy Hodgson’s tenure at Liverpool, the piece had to be finished.  It got a bit long so I’ll be splitting this one up into a few shorter posts, if I don’t get the boot from the editor.

First, a little background.  I grew up in football-mad Singapore, which as a former British colony, follows the English game with a passion.  Shockingly, I was actually an Arsenal fan my first year of watching the game (1991, aged 8).  I had decided I was a centre forward and wanted desperately to be Ian Wright, who was banging in the goals after his move from Crystal Palace.  Leeds ended up winning the league that year (the final year of the old First Division), but at the end of the season, I decided I wanted to support the same team as my dad, who had watched in agony as United’s season slipped away.  So, while I do my best to know pre-1992 history, my personal United obsession started quite fortuitously with The Cantona Age.

I think of United history since 1992 in four loose periods: The Cantona Age (1992-1997), The Beckham Age (1997-2003), The Ronaldo Age (2003-2009) and The Rooney Age (2009-2010… oh wait, 2009-present).  Other United fans will have their own ideas, I’m sure, but I think this characterization actually does a decent job of identifying the team’s “talisman.”  Ok, that word is horrifically overused, but I’m trying to identify the team’s real superstar.  I’d be the first to say that The Beckham Age doesn’t fit that well into that breakdown, because he was by no means the best player on that team.  In fact, that was precisely the magnificence of Beckham Era United, which of course reached its peak in the Treble-winning season.  In 1999, you had four tremendous strikers (Yorke, Cole, Sheringham, Solskjaer) as well as a balanced midfield that could always be relied upon for its fair share of goals.  (As an aside, I sometimes wonder if I will in my lifetime see a better United midfield quartet than the ’99 team of Beckham, Keane, Scholes and Giggs.  Other than Djemba-Djemba, Kleberson, Miller and Bellion, of course.)   Anyhow, my point is that Beckham was United’s global superstar of that period, despite not being the best player, so he gets my vote for getting the era named after him.  If you want to nitpick further, I don’t think there was a true icon in the 2002-2005 period either – van Nistelrooy might be the closest, but lacked the true global superstardom of the others.

The point of that digression was that United fans have seen plenty of our greats leave in acrimonious circumstances.  Beckham and Ronaldo were rumoured to be leaving long before their United careers ended.  Many people forget how close Cantona came to leaving the club in 1995 in the aftermath of the infamous kung-fu kick (Matthew Simmons deserved it, by the way, the *****).  And of course there is the next tier of top-class players who left the club rather surprisingly, such as Ince, Hughes, Stam, Keane and van Nistelrooy.

But there was (is?) something special about Rooney.  Now, I readily admit a bit of bias here.  I enjoyed having Beckham and Ronaldo play for United (not just for the fashion tips, though that sarong was bee-YOO-tiful!), but detested the prima donna behaviour, and their constant courting of publicity.  And I know for a fact many United fans shared my ambivalence.  So I would argue that Rooney was the first United player since Cantona to combine superstardom with the rabid, unadulterated adulation of fans.

So the question remains: what on earth was Wayne Rooney thinking?

After that circuitous stage-setting and unabashed brandishing of my United credentials, I promise I will try to get into Rooney’s head in the next post.  No mean feat, I warn you…

[Stay tuned for Part Two]

Within the lore of Liverpool Football Club, the most memorable players are given titles of endearment and majesty.  Kenny Dalglish is simply “King Kenny.”  Emlyn Hughes was called “Crazy Horse.”  Robbie Fowler is known as “God.”  So how should the Anfield faithful remember Fernando Torres now that he’s left for Chelsea?

If the pictures of Torres during his Monday transfer ordeal tell us one thing, he’s no longer the innocent El Niño.  His face was pained, his smile while holding the Chelsea shirt almost reluctant.  He now seems more of a man than a boy, albeit a jaded one.

For Liverpool fans, the breakup has been anything but smooth.  The handful of supporters calling for fond memories of Torres get lost in the mob of angry shouts for his head and bonfires of his number 9 jersey.  “Traitorres” has been picking up steam in the nickname department.

I can’t help but sympathize for their anger.  The fact is, our best player handed in a transfer request two days before the close of the January window.  No real warning, no nothing.  Luckily, Dalglish and Damien Comolli and company were able to scramble and find a replacement in 24 hours– but paying £35m for Andy Carroll with our backs against the wall certainly isn’t gonna land the club on the cover of BusinessWeek.  Torres’ timing screwed Liverpool pretty badly.   Let’s get that clear.

Thing is, I understand why Torres wanted out of Liverpool.  I get it.  He left Atletico Madrid to play consistently in the Champions League and compete for a domestic crown.  Liverpool can no longer immediately guarantee those things.  Truthfully, we’ve been abysmal the last year and a half.  If you were a world class striker in your prime you would want go to a club that could offer those things.

But it’s how he dumped us that really hurts.  At the last minute, yes, and for Chelsea of all clubs.

Before Torres allowed himself to be introduced as a Liverpool player in 2007, he told the club he needed to fly back to Madrid and say a proper goodbye to the team and fans of Atletico.  They were understandably sad to see him go but he had their blessing.  Now Liverpool fans receive no such courtesy.  It feels like he just left us some cab fare on the dresser and slipped out the back door.

Or worse, like he called us the night before prom and told us he changed his mind and he’d be going with the pretty, rich girl instead.  For three and a half years he made us believe that he believed in us.  There was the “You’ll Never Walk Alone” inscribed on his Atletico captain’s armband.  The five finger salute to Manchester United fans.  The goals, the artistry, and (what we thought was) passion.  Our emotion, our history seemed to matter to him as much as it does to us.   But it’s impossible to reconcile that notion now with his move to megabucks Chelsea.

The more I think about it, Chelsea is essentially the antithesis of Liverpool.  Hear me out.  You’ve got your Reds versus Blues right off the bat.  You have the Northwestern, anti-mainstream-English-media club versus the en vogue, London club.  You have your aloof scouse wit and your wide boy cockney chatter separating the terraces.  But it’s even deeper.  Liverpool prides itself on unique tradition and pedigree.  The only “brand” of concern is the football being played.  Meanwhile, Chelsea has elbowed itself into the Big Boys Club by throwing insane money around.  Need the best players?  Go buy some.  Need to offer astronomical wages?  Go pay them.  Need fans?  Go fill Stamford Bridge with free plastic flags and you’ll get yourself plastic fans.

See, Manchester United will always be Liverpool’s main rival.  But deep down, there’s some sort of twisted, unspoken respect between the two clubs.  In the 70′s and 80′s Liverpool became the first English superpower, achieving a previously unseen athletic hegemony.  Indeed, when Alex Ferguson took charge of Man United, he defined the success of his career there in terms of equaling/overcoming the might of Liverpool.  To this day he still burns with a mixture of resentment and jealousy toward the Merseysiders.  But it’s definitely reciprocated.  Accusations from Liverpool supporters about Fergie’s steamrolling arrogance and influence over the FA hierarchy is ironic, considering the Scot probably learned it from Bill Shankly.  And don’t think for a second everything Man United isn’t under intense scouse scrutiny…  But we hate each other because we’re so alike.  Because we’re neck and neck in accomplishments.  Because we’ve both achieved domination through our principles.

But Chelsea is an ugly harbinger of modernity.  It’s a different beast, one that we don’t understand.  It’s Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men.  It’s the Civil War draft riot that disrupts the climactic battle in Gangs of New York.  We fear Chelsea for this reason of uncertainty, but we also hate them for what we do know:

The success of Chelsea is inextricably linked to exorbitant spending.

To be fair the Chelsea, it didn’t exactly invent the concept.  Real Madrid takes credit for that, with its Galactico policy at the turn of the Millennium.  But somehow it doesn’t feel so wrong with Real.  Maybe because they’d already achieved ridiculous amounts of success before then, or because it was away from England– I don’t know.  I’m not saying it’s fair, but that’s the way it is.  The emergence of Chelsea though has introduced a dangerous precedent of potentially unsustainable financing into the once Beautiful Game.  And it’s unsettling.

There’s a saying made popular by four gents from Liverpool that goes “money can’t buy me love.”  So if £200,000 a week bought Fernando Torres, doesn’t that mean his love for Liverpool never really was?  All his affection and sweet talk seems shallow, now that he’s taken a fancier to something apparently shinier.

That’s what gets me.  What does that mean for his 81 goals and legacy at Liverpool?  Were they a farce?  A byproduct of his own personal ambition of glory and riches?  Since day one, Liverpool fans have supported and cheered for him like one would an abandoned puppy.  Even when he was out of form and frustrated, we made excuses and proclaimed to all he would definitely be back to his best.  Whenever he jetted off to play for Spain and came back with a lingering knock, it was the Liverpool medical staff that rejuvenated him, and the fans that suffered his absence.  The very formation of the team was reconstructed to fit his optimum role as a lone striker, even when it might have cost the squad collectively.  Liverpool did so much for him; they made him into a superstar of iconic proportions.

But for all of that, you can’t want something for someone else– only they can.  We wanted so badly for him to share the way we felt, that we fooled ourselves into thinking he did.  We were like the creepy stalker who misinterpreted the slightest smile from our obsession as a profession of love.  It was only a smile though.

Maybe he never really understood.  Even after leaving, he still refuses to say anything explicitly negative about Liverpool.  He’s considerate and generally respectful with his words.  But everyone knows you can’t be friends with an ex immediately after a bad breakup, unless…  Well, unless one of the people never understood he was in a relationship in the first place.  Scary.  Maybe he’ll never know that he’s entirely cheapened everything he used to personify for us.  He’ll never comprehend why Merseyside feels numb.

Four days and one thousand words later, and I still can’t tell you how Torres should be remembered.  Personally, I just feel indifferent toward him now.  It’s like the worst thing a kid could ever hear his parents tell him.  I’m not angry, just disappointed.  He’ll always be a Liverpool player to me (and maybe himself too), but that’s as far as it goes.

One fact I can tell you is that in the couple Rafa  years before Torres came, Liverpool had: won the Champions League, played in the League Cup Final, Won the FA Cup, and played in a Champions League Final.  Then, nada for 3.5 years.  For all his stardom, Torres never brought a single trophy to the Reds.

Or I could tell you that in selling him, Liverpool were able to buy two potential stars capable of reaching his level.  Andy Carroll already has more goals to his name this season than Torres, and Suarez only needed 16 minutes in a Liverpool top yesterday to open his account.  Who knows, maybe Torres won’t need to be remembered at all by Liverpool, except as a footnote to how the great Carroll or Suarez came to our club.

Still, throughout this whole transfer mess I can’t help but think of Steven Gerrard and his flirtations with Chelsea more than five years ago.  Gerrard, the heartbeat of Liverpool, submitting a written transfer request.  The inquisition into his soul had already begun by insatiable supporters, when he suddenly had a dramatic U-turn and reaffirmed his place atop the Temple of Liverpool by staying with us.  The Gerrard saga reminds me that it’s never too late to realize your mistake, change your mind, and to come back home to the club where you belong.

So maybe Fernando Torres will be remembered to some as Judas.  Or maybe, just maybe, he’ll be our Prodigal Son.

Tags: Chelsea, Liverpool, Torres, Transfer

Klinsmann celebrates his first EPL goal in style!

According to Tommy Smyth, swimming pools are quite shallow in Germany

Just a few hours ago, I read a short and rather troubling article on www.goal.com speculating that Jürgen Klinsmann may be the next coach of Fulham FC. While its dangerous to comment on and build rumors (that’s how World War I got started!), I can’t help but add my two cents.

BAD IDEA!

While Klinsmann was a fantastic player (my childhood hero, actually) who performed above expectations in managing a rather mediocre German side to a third place finish in 2006, one look at his atrocious 2008/2009 season as Bayern Munich’s manager should be enough to ward off any team manager with half a brain.

He began in July of 2008 with the same innovation and gusto we are accustomed to seeing from him. American fitness experts, foreign language and self-help courses for the players, and even miniature Buddha statues around Säbener Straße, Bayern’s training facility. After a number of ho-hum seasons at Bayern (winning the Bundesliga and DFB Pokal, while falling short in Europe, how spoiled we are!) this was all met with a mixture of curiosity and skepticism from Bavarians always wary of Swabians (“Grinsmann” hails from Göppingen, near Stuttgart).

10 months of mediocre football, embarrassing losses (0-4 to Barcelona!, 1-5 to Wolfsburg! [Grafite's 2nd and Wolfsburg's 5th was voted "Tor des Jahres" {"goal of the year"} in 2009]), and countless leads lost to supposedly inferior opposition, Klinsi was sacked and Jupp Heynckes appointed care taker for the remainder of the season, just to ensure Champions League ball for the next one. The truth was painfully obvious; managerial success at the international level does not always translate to the club level.

The truth was painfully obvious. Club football is by far more engrossing than international football, as the sheer number of games and hours spent training coupled with high expectations proved too much for “Grinsmann.” I have always thought that one of his strengths as a manager was his emphasis on psychology and its importance in the game. Like so many Bayern supporters, I was shocked at his remarks following the 1-5 debacle against Wolfsburg.

“I’ve put my head on the block for ten months, but now the time has come for the players to accept responsibility and ask themselves whether they’ve given their all for Bayern Munich FC.”

Clearly Klinsmann, seen as a likeable and easy-going player in Germany, had lost his own psychological battle with the media, the players, the management, you name it. As a manager, you are responsible for the results on the field. When your team looses this badly, you put your head on the chopping block and do not embarrass your team further by publicly calling them out (the loss is bad enough for them).

Maybe he would flourish at a smaller club such as Fulham with lower expectations and amounts of pressure. For me, his psyche is far too fragile for top level club football. Though I love the man dearly and revere him for the player he was, I would not want him anywhere near my club team.  For your own good, Fulham FC, don’t appoint Jürgen Klinsmann as your manager.

Tschuss,

//mwbii//

ps. I have chosen “Mia San Mia,” as the name of my column. While this may sound Italian, it is actually  a Bavarian phrase which means, “We are who we are.” Always be true to yourself!

Leo Messi was only 11 when Barca brought him over from Argentina

It’s being reported that Barcelona have agreed to sign a 7 year old Lyon starlet called Kais.  Apparently, Benzema is the only player the French club have seen to possess equal talents at such a young age.  I’m waiting for someone to tell us it’s a joke, but if it’s true it kind of puts the Kakuta incident in perspective.

They say Barca has one of the best youth systems in the world, maybe all it takes is promises of extra dessert and an Xbox…

Barca's Youth Academy

Tags: Barcelona, Kais, Lyon

FIFA today have announced a ban on new signings for Chelsea until January 2011.  The club allegedly induced French teen Gael Kakuta to break his contract with Lens in 2007.  Chelsea have of course appealed the decision.

Most are speculating this will be overturned or considerably shortened.  It’s no secret FIFA could use the money from the accompanying €780,000 fine, nor would they wish to cross one of the biggest clubs in the world.  But Chelsea were warned over Ashley Cole, maybe FIFA will maintain a hard stance?

Although they’re already looking excellent this season, how well will an aging Chelsea squad cope after months of strenuous games?  And what implications could this ban have- surely they aren’t the only club to facilitate breaches of contract?  And does this explain Abramovich’s backing of a UEFA proposal to limit club spending?  So many questions…

Kolo Toure gives a ‘candid’ interview following his switch from Arsenal to Manchester City.  Skip to the 0:50 mark to hear the defender’s Freudian slip about the lure of his City move!

Alvaro Arbeloa has all but completed his move to Real Madrid, and rumor has it Xabi Alonso is also in the Spanish capital to hammer out a possible transfer to the Galacticos.  If such whispers are to be believed, then it would be hard to ignore similar reports that Liverpool are lining up Roma’s Alberto Aquilani as a replacement.

If Alonso’s proposed move goes through, Liverpool will be approximately £30m richer but one Deep-Lying Playmaker poorer.  While Alonso is a class player, such a transfer could hardly be considered robbery.  (Liverpool purchased the Basque midfielder from Real Sociedad in 2004 for £10.5m, so they’d be making almost £20m in profit.)

It’s believed that Aquilani would only cost around £15-20m, leaving Rafa Benitez with £10-15m left over to sign at least one more player.  You’d be looking at a striker as an understudy to Torres, a left winger to compete with Riera, or if Andrea Dossena goes to Napoli then maybe a backup fullback.  Sounds great on paper, right?

Indeed it would be hard to fault Benitez for doing such business.  Just one year ago he was ready to let Xabi Alonso go for £15 to be replaced with Gareth Barry.  (It must also be noted that in the same vein, it would be hard to fault Alonso for wanting to go to Real, given last summer’s circumstances.)  And Aquilani is nothing short of a very talented player.  Excellent poise on the ball, a healthy passing range, and deadly long range shooting make him a desirable man for any midfield.  He can also hit lovely free kicks, yet finds himself behind the indispensable Totti for his club, and Pirlo for Italy.  But if De Rossi is the heir apparent to Totti in passion for Roma, Aquilani is the man with the closest level of ability to the Roman captain.  The only knock on him is his reputation for injury, no pun intended.

Bags are packed?

But he doesn’t exactly play the same role as Alonso.  While Alonso pulls the strings from just in front of the back four, Aquilani enjoys marauding forward closer to the strikers, similar to Steven Gerrard.  This should be the particularly troubling aspect for Liverpool fans.  Losing Alonso means losing more than just a quality central midfielder.  The shape, the transition from defense to attack, the assurance of possession- all take on a different nature without Alonso.  It’s not to say that Aquilani couldn’t learn to playmake from deeper, but could he learn it immediately?

This is a Liverpool side finally on the brink of greatness, coming so close last season, suddenly being forced into altering the preferred formation could prove highly damaging.  Now is the time when Benitez must find players who fit the few, very specific roles in his team; it is not the time to buy players and adjust his team to fit their abilities.

Liverpool haven’t won a trophy in 3 years, an eternity at such a massive club, and serious eyebrows will be raised if they endure another year without silverware.  Barcelona have been linked not-so-sublty with Javier Mascherano, and such transfer rumors will only become more attractive to Red players if Liverpool cannot bring trophies.  It’s no longer about acquiring good players for Liverpool, as it has been in the first few years of the Rafalution, it’s about assembling a cast of the right players.

FourFourTwo is reporting that Aly Cissokho’s move to Milan could be derailed by his dental hygiene.  Click on the image to read the article!