I know, I know, it’s so tough to schedule your weekend activities.  These days the weekends creep up on you like ninja warriors.  What once was T.G.I.F. should probably read more like O.M.G.I.F.  You finish up work/school/whatever Friday afternoon then you immediately have to flex your social muscles/unwind/support your kids’ fledgling social biceps.  By the time you wake up Saturday morn, you could already have missed it.

I’m talking about you, Mr. Everton 3-3 Man United at 7:45 AM ET aka at the buttcrack of dawn in Sanchez timezone.  A contender for Thriller of the Season and you (like this idiot) missed it.  And for no good reason, except for that fact that you’re too busy taking the family or your roommate Ravi out for Indian food to prepare for that sort of double-espresso morning clash.

I mean, the warning signs were all there.  Wayne Rooney fresh in the headlines for alleged infidelity (I’m not even going there, nice try) and he has to return to Goodison to face his old colors.  (There’s a great “once a blue, always a blue” joke somewhere in there but I’m too impatient to let it mature)…  Rumors of a “No Woman, No Kai” song spreading like Yo Mama jokes in 1994… Alex Ferguson preparing to do the unthinkable and drop an undroppable player because of gossip/fan abuse…

So, we shouldn’t have been surprised to see read about a 3-3 injury time comeback stunner, right?  And yet, missing a game like that still stung like a Saguaro jockstrap.  But cacti undergarments for you no more!  I’m making use of my Friday squeaky bum time to give you the lowdown on what you need to be watching this weekend.  If you really want to tailor your sports viewing schedule to fit mine, you could throw in 3 NFL games and “the golf” on Sunday, but I wouldn’t wish that kind of obsession on a Chelsea fan.  So here’s ye olde soccer:

Wolves at Tottenham 10:00 ET Saturday

-Two of the most interesting teams in England.  The promoted side was a favorite pick to be this year’s whipping boys, and they still look at times like they could go down 6 or 7.  But they haven’t.  An opening day win over Stoke and draws with Everton and Newcastle (as well as a 2-1 defeat at Fulham) show they’re not ready to become pushovers, yet.

-On the other hand, Tottenham seem to make a habit of randomly demolishing teams.  That whole “Crouch only scores for England against little teams” argument looks just as true when he’s wearing a Spurs top, but no less helpful to his team (club and country).  And yet, there they are, dead even in points with Wolves.  Perhaps the Champions League campaign will make them an easier scalp in the Prem.

Catania at AC Milan 14:45 ET Saturday

-Ibra watch continues.  Shoot, even he‘s watching himself.  Check this quote.  “I’d like to think I’m a spectacular player, a guy who can do extraordinary things and I’m at the perfect club with this mentality.  With brilliant attackers and creators like Robinho, Ronaldinho, Pato, Pirlo and Seedorf around me, this is the perfect stage… We are the new dream team.”  Well, time to back it up.  Last time these two met it was a tasty 2-2 draw at the San Siro; should be a fun one tomorrow.  Oh, and Ibra also did this:

Real Madrid at Real Sociedad 16:00 ET Saturday

-Let’s face it, you might as well pencil in every Mourinho-Madrid match in the “must watch” column.  The biggest managerial ego in the hottest seat in football– everyone wants to see how the experiment turns out.  Throw in the fact that Barcelona have gone from captivating darlings of the game to whiny, poaching elitists and you have a 38-game soap opera in La Liga.  Oh yeah, Sociedad will be turning up Saturday as well.  They’re actually even with Real too on 4 points, with their win coming at the expense of disappointing Villarreal.  So, maybe they’ll make something of this.  Either way, just as good.

Liverpool at Manchester United 8:30 ET Sunday

-Come on, dude.  Best fixture in the Premiership.  Title implications, legacy implications, decades of animosity, and an array of talent.  I don’t know what else I can say.  This matchup hasn’t seen an uneventful game since 2006.  And it won’t tomorrow.

Blackpool at Chelsea 11:00 ET Sunday

-Chelsea are yet to drop a point in the league, and even better, their scorelines are much more attractive than the flat-chested 1-0 results of Mourinho Times (like Medieval Times, but with the Special One).  Until they slow down, they deserve to be thoroughly watched (if only for the goal parade).  Blackpool, on the other hand, appears to have the brain of big club in a minnow’s body.  They don’t park any buses or stack any midfields– they come out to play football.  I think this might be the day Chelsea hit double digits…

Barcelona at Atletico Madrid 13:00 ET Sunday

WHERE IS YOUR MEAT DRESS?

-Barca.  Once loved, now loathed.  Hercules showed them to be mortal and Spain rejoiced.  They want your favorite team’s best players, but they aren’t willing to pay megabucks (uh, thanks City?) because they’ll chirp incessantly about how Barca are entitled to said players.  Congrats, Barca, you’ve become the Lady Gaga of football:  can’t-take-my-eyes-off-you entertaining, but really starting to get annoying with your high-and-mightiness.  (How awesome would it make my analogy if Barca signed a player named Alejandro?).

-Atleti.  The Legend of Diego Forlan and the Ujfalusi Underdogs.  Two wins in two for the ugly Madrid stepsister, and just maybe the slightest bit of hope for an outsider winning La Liga.  Don’t say it any louder than a whisper though, it’s still too newborn a challenge.  Forlan…

**********

You Might Want To Flip Over For…

-Cologne at Bayern Munich 9:30 ET Saturday for Podolski versus Schweinsteiger and the old team.

-Mainz at Werder Bremen 9:30 ET Saturday to see if perfect Mainz are for real, playing legit competition.

-Arsenal at Sunderland 12:30 ET Saturday just on the off chance Wenger’s boys decide to repeat their midweek theatrics.

-Juventus at Udinese 9:00 ET Sunday because Juve is a “big” team and Udinese is fun to watch despite losing both their first two matches.

-Hamburg at St. Pauli 9:30 ET Sunday as it appears there’s something brewing there, and it ain’t St. Pauli Girl.  (Hint: it’s the Iroquois ensemble that is Hamburg).

-Manchester City at Wigan 10:00 ET Sunday for the City show.  Period.

-Besiktas at Fenerbahce 13:00 ET Sunday for the Turkish (blood)bath.

Tags: Ibrahimovic, Television

Klinsmann celebrates his first EPL goal in style!

According to Tommy Smyth, swimming pools are quite shallow in Germany

Just a few hours ago, I read a short and rather troubling article on www.goal.com speculating that Jürgen Klinsmann may be the next coach of Fulham FC. While its dangerous to comment on and build rumors (that’s how World War I got started!), I can’t help but add my two cents.

BAD IDEA!

While Klinsmann was a fantastic player (my childhood hero, actually) who performed above expectations in managing a rather mediocre German side to a third place finish in 2006, one look at his atrocious 2008/2009 season as Bayern Munich’s manager should be enough to ward off any team manager with half a brain.

He began in July of 2008 with the same innovation and gusto we are accustomed to seeing from him. American fitness experts, foreign language and self-help courses for the players, and even miniature Buddha statues around Säbener Straße, Bayern’s training facility. After a number of ho-hum seasons at Bayern (winning the Bundesliga and DFB Pokal, while falling short in Europe, how spoiled we are!) this was all met with a mixture of curiosity and skepticism from Bavarians always wary of Swabians (“Grinsmann” hails from Göppingen, near Stuttgart).

10 months of mediocre football, embarrassing losses (0-4 to Barcelona!, 1-5 to Wolfsburg! [Grafite's 2nd and Wolfsburg's 5th was voted "Tor des Jahres" {"goal of the year"} in 2009]), and countless leads lost to supposedly inferior opposition, Klinsi was sacked and Jupp Heynckes appointed care taker for the remainder of the season, just to ensure Champions League ball for the next one. The truth was painfully obvious; managerial success at the international level does not always translate to the club level.

The truth was painfully obvious. Club football is by far more engrossing than international football, as the sheer number of games and hours spent training coupled with high expectations proved too much for “Grinsmann.” I have always thought that one of his strengths as a manager was his emphasis on psychology and its importance in the game. Like so many Bayern supporters, I was shocked at his remarks following the 1-5 debacle against Wolfsburg.

“I’ve put my head on the block for ten months, but now the time has come for the players to accept responsibility and ask themselves whether they’ve given their all for Bayern Munich FC.”

Clearly Klinsmann, seen as a likeable and easy-going player in Germany, had lost his own psychological battle with the media, the players, the management, you name it. As a manager, you are responsible for the results on the field. When your team looses this badly, you put your head on the chopping block and do not embarrass your team further by publicly calling them out (the loss is bad enough for them).

Maybe he would flourish at a smaller club such as Fulham with lower expectations and amounts of pressure. For me, his psyche is far too fragile for top level club football. Though I love the man dearly and revere him for the player he was, I would not want him anywhere near my club team.  For your own good, Fulham FC, don’t appoint Jürgen Klinsmann as your manager.

Tschuss,

//mwbii//

ps. I have chosen “Mia San Mia,” as the name of my column. While this may sound Italian, it is actually  a Bavarian phrase which means, “We are who we are.” Always be true to yourself!