If I told you I had an Iberian Derby between the #2 and #3 ranked teams in the World Cup, would that be something you’d be interested in?  Oh good, Spain and Portugal are squaring off in about 30 minutes.  (Sidenote– I think Catalunya could also enter the Iberian totem discussion, but that’s a very “side” note).  Wish I had more time to preview this bad boy, but fame-seeking Paraguay and Japan just had to prolong their 15 minutes.  Here are the basics…

Spain are legit.  Too legit, some might say.  There isn’t one area in which their squad is weak; the only real deficiency they have is when they opt not to play wingers (Mata, Navas) and sometimes become a bit narrow.  The fitness of Torres is also a concern, but they’ll have to roll the dice and hope he returns to his astonishing best– if only for a minute or two.  Other than that– amazing team.

They lost their opening match to Switzerland in anomalous fashion– utterly dominating possession and shots but falling 1-0.  Then they deservedly beat Honduras (2-0) and Chile (2-1) to win Group H on 6 points.  Many people have become major critics of Spain in the past two weeks based solely upon the Swiss game, but if you overlook that result, Spain is still the best team in South Africa.

"I'm not playing today, am I?"

Portugal have been a bit stranger, finishing runner-up in Group G on 5 points.  The drew their opening match with Ivory Coast and closing one with Brazil 0-0 and 0-0; but beat North Korea 7-0 in between.  Not sure how to reconcile those results but I shall try.

Queiroz appears to be able to alter his side to play different gameplans.  Against inferior opposition, they unleash the fury.  Goals from anywhere and everywhere.  But he can also put his team into lockdown mode at will, against the more potent opponents.  If that’s anything to go by (assuming it’s even true at all), we could see some frustrating defense from the Portuguese.  They’ll throw the clamps on Xavi & Co. while hoping Ronaldo can trick his way into a goal on the break.  Oh joy.

We’ll do it live!  As always, forgive the typos and hit refresh for updates to my running commentary:

• Del Bosque going with the least controversial lineup:  Casillas with Ramos/Puyol/Pique/Capdevila in front of him. Iniesta/Alonso/Xavi/Busquets comprise the midfield.  Villa and Torres lead the attack.
• This might be the first opponent that actually merits having Sergio Busquets out there.
• Pepe and Simao start for Portugal.  No Deco.
• This has a Real Madrid-Barcelona flavor to it.  Actually, it’s like the banana in any sort of tropical drink.  It’s overpowering everything else.
• It’s underway.  Nobody, not even Man U fans from a few years back (during the Queiroz/Ronaldo/Nani era), want Portugal to win this one, right?
• Torres with an early curler forces a great save from Eduardo.  Much better start from the underperforming Liverpool striker.
• Villa replicates the Torres shot and Eduardo is Johnny-on-the-spot again.
• Coentrao uses a lot of body to bring Torres down in the box but the ref lets it go.  Anywhere else on the pitch and it’s a foul.
• Villa rips one.  Portugal under the blade but holding.
• Wild start to this game.  Portugal are going with their North Korea gameplan.
• Peculiar corner sees Torres flick one towards the goal.  Spain are going to bust all the training ground tricks out of the repertoire.
• I’m getting word Bruno Alves has just been cast in the 3rd season of Jersey Shore.  Seriously, how can anyone be that tan?
• Ronaldo’s diving has begun.  8.75 for his first effort.
• We’re at the point in the tournament where my Villa-Torres theory begins to shift.  It’s neither early nor late in the World Cup, so I can’t tell you who will be the one to score for Spain.
• Casillas makes an unconvincing save and has to clean up his own mess from bouncing over the line.  Reina grits his teeth on the bench.
• Xavi almost slips a darting Villa through.  Spain looking close to the first goal, living in the Portuguese half.
• Xavi and Robert Downey Jr. are cousins.
• Iniesta looks off.  He’s giving the ball away way too easily.
• Another Ronaldo dive.  9.55.  Good enthusiasm but lacked creativity.
• Portugal starting to revert to Ivory Coast/Brazil gameplan.
• Spain’s one touch passing is second to none.  On cue, a giveaway leads to an Almeida header wide.
• Iniesta should come off at the break.  I’ve never seen him play this awful.  Silva, Mata, or Fabregas would do nicely.
• Casillas beats Simao in a footrace and saves Spain’s blushes.  Portugal breaking with gusto.
• Strong tackle by Carvalho denies Torres a shot at goal.
• Halftime, 0-0.
• Spain moved the ball better and looked superior, but Portugal’s counterattacks had more potency about them.
• “Copenhagen?”… Incredibly, the Ellen Page commercials have the opposite effect as Knight and Day.  I want to go see all of her movies now.
• Off the top of my head, here are the Real and Barca connections in the squads today…
• REAL MADRID: Pepe, Ronaldo, Casillas, Ramos, Alonso, Albiol, Arbeloa, Mata (youth player).
• BARCELONA: Puyol, Pique, Busquets, Xavi, Iniesta, Villa (officially in two days), Valdes, Pedro, Fabregas (youth player), Deco (former player), Reina (former player), Simao (former player).
• Who did I miss?  I’m sure there are some youth or former players somewhere in there…
• 2nd half underway.
• Torres trying to get past Coentrao too often.  The left back is up for it, as he has been all tournament.
• Spain still pressing via Sergio Ramos.
• A Puyol deflection almost falls in the side netting.  Casillas was very worried for a second.  He didn’t know how he would explain that to his girl Sara Carbonero.
• Iniesta still playing like doo doo.  I have a feeling he and the unfit Torres might be coming off soon.
• Danny on for Almeida.  Llorente on for Torres.
• My Villa-Torres theory isn’t getting disproved today, at least.
• Llorente heads into Eduardo!  He beasts the cross from Ramos but can’t find the corner.  Seconds later, Villa curls one wide.
• GOAL SPAIN!  1-0 as some slick passing and a Xavi backheel releases Villa.  His shot is blocked but he eats his own rebound and chips Eduardo.
• For the first time this tournament, Portugal have been scored upon.
• The Euro2008 Villa-Torres theory survives!  Torres must start scoring in the next game though– assuming Spain can hold onto this.
• Spain playing with a major confidence boost since the goal.
• Eduardo pushes a left footed shot from Ramos just wide!
• Pepe off for Mendes, Liedson for Simao.
• Sergio Ramos thinks his side is the one that needs a goal, which naturally is great to watch.
• Villa has another strike from deep, forcing Eduardo into a dive.  He wants the Golden Boot.  My fantasy team offers its full support.
• There isn’t a player that understands the give and go better than David Villa.  He’ll make a great Barca player.
• Costa and Villa chirping at each other.  It isn’t over between them.
• 5 minutes left in regular time.
• Llorente sends a header just wide.  Villa found his newest strike partner with ease.
• Pedro on, Villa off.  Spain hoping to hold 1-0.
• COSTA SENT OFF!  I told you it wasn’t over, and it is now for Costa.  An elbow on Capdevila.
• The lump in Ronaldo’s throat looks even bigger as he misses the target badly.
• Capdevila saying some words I’ve heard my dad say in Spanish to Bruno Alves…
• Fulltime, 1-0 Spain!

Portugal got theirs today.  Since they lost, I’m gonna put the negative spin on this one.  The only team Portugal could score against was North Korea.  Cristiano Ronaldo looked lost and tried to do too much, too often.  If it wasn’t for a fortuitous bounce off his back, he would’ve finished the tournament with 0 goals.  Queiroz wasted the attacking talents of his country by playing such a negative strategy for most of the World Cup.  The only ones they have to blame for their exit are themselves.

And Spain are through!  It’s a very deserved win for Del Bosque’s side, who will meet Paraguay in the quarterfinals.  Villa was brilliant and the defense was composed; Xavi and Alonso inventive in the middle as always.  Again, the only concern is the fitness of Torres, but 4 days rest could help in that department.  Spain make it 7 of 8 group winners who advance.

Roberto Martinez is beaming and that’s my cue.  Check for some analysis in the two down days until the QF starts Friday.

With all of the big boys eyeballing each other in the knockout stages of the World Cup, a couple of the upstarts find themselves together in the eye of the storm.  Check out the teams that will be playing on one side of the quarterfinals– Germany, Argentina, Spain/Portugal, and… either Paraguay or Japan?  Yeah, you heard me.  Let’s start with the “favorite.”

Paraguay, winners of Group F with 5 points.  They began their campaign with a well deserved 1-1 draw with Italy.  (Could even make an argument they were robbed, but I don’t want to add insult to injury for my Italian readers).  Then they put Slovakia down like an old Golden Retriever 2-0 in their second game.  A 0-0 draw with New Zealand was disappointing, but always enough to see them top the group.

Winning a World Cup group always merits some praise, especially if you’re one of the lesser football powers.  So here it is– they’ve only conceded 1 goal, and it was a defensive miscue that saw De Rossi bundle the ball into the net.  And their top striker is still recovering from a freaking bullet in his skull.  (Similar credit should go to the US minus Charlie Davies, but that ship has sailed).

Santa is always watching

But it wasn’t much of a feat in retrospect.  Slovakia didn’t wake up until their final match.  I haven’t seen so much fruitless chasing from the Italians since The Bicycle Thief.  New Zealand should be proud of their 3 draws, but were always going to struggle to threaten group supremacy.  So forgive me for being the pessimist, but Paraguay enter this match with heavy clouds of uncertainty.

Japan– half opposite, half exactly the same.  Like Paraguay, the Group E runner-up Japan has surrendered minimal goalage (2).  But there’s nothing unpredictable about the Japanese.  What you see is what you get– and every performance I’ve seen from them is a closely contested, well organized match.  Beating Cameroon 1-0, only losing to Holland 0-1, then beating Denmark 3-1 to finish with 6 points.  Clockwork.

So if you look at the total points and the opposition faced, it would really appear that Japan is the favorite.  If only it weren’t so unfashionable to big up an Asian team…  Either way, considering the results from both teams, you know it’s bound to be close.  If you are a betting human, I’d say extra time is in the cards.

We’ll do it live!  As always, forgive my typo disease and hit refresh every few minutes for live updates to my running commentary:

• Okay, we’re ready.  Cardozo the odd man out for the Paraguay attack.  Caceres also on the bench for them.
• Shunsuke Makamure and Junichi Inamoto, the old guard, start on the bench for Japan.
• Terrible tackle from Matsui.  Two-footed, from behind, nowhere near ball.  Somehow he stays out o the book.  I believe that’s called “Beginning of Game Mercy.”
• Tulio Tanaka still hasn’t done anything erratic.  Could today be the day he finds (either) net?  Breaks a leg?  Receives a purple card?
• John Harkes has said “unity and team chemistry” twice now.  I’ll start the tally…
• Neither side putting together any telling movements.  One goal could win this thing.
• Gerardo Martino, the Paraguayan manager, looks more like a Spanish teacher than a coach.
• Honda is isolated for Japan.  They need to get him involved if they want to open up the Paraguayan defense.  Or at least bring on Inamoto so the blondies can confuse Paraguay.
• ESPN has been (infrequently) showing a stat of teams’ touches in the opposition box– love to see that 0-0 now.
• On cue, Paraguay break through to test Kawashima.  Barrios turns inside the box and pokes it straight at the keeper.
• Now Matsui rips one off the bar.  Yikes.
• Japan just can’t break through the back line of Paraguay.
• Santa Cruz wakes up to find the ball dropping at his feet from a corner but shoots it wide.  Must… hit… target…
• Major LOL at ESPN trying to promote an MLS game during this game.  One step at a time, Don Garber.
• Honda has “first touch of the game” to bring down a long pass, turn,  and win a free kick.  This is Japan’s jam.
• Can’t find the net, but Japan by far play the best set piece crosses/shots in the tournament.  Probably because they don’t sail 50% of them out of play, but every little bit helps.
• Honda = selfish as he shoots with the outside of the foot wide.  He had a man on his left but went for goal.  Great movement by Matsui to open the attack.
• Kind of, pretty, positively sure that Martino taught me Spanish at some point in school.
• Halftime, 0-0.  At points dull, but flashes of danger growing.
• One of these countries will make the quarterfinals for the first time where they will then be conquered and divided into provinces by Spain/Portugal… But someone has to show the overwhelming desire to get there first.
• Does anyone know anyone who’s actually seen Knight and Day?
• 2nd half underway.  Matsui still selling dragbacks, Paraguay still buying them like suckers.
• This feels like an opening game more than a knockout round match.
• Brilliant by Japan to block a shot by Ortigoza on the penalty spot.  Every time I call this game drab, something exciting happens; I’m perfectly happy to keep doing so for your entertainment.
• Did you know Japan started wearing blue to distinguish themselves from the red/white of China and Korea?  I never knew that but it makes sense.
• Paraguay starting to pressure Japan, Kawashima.
• Valdez on for Benitez.
• The Japanese defenders could start a boy band with hair like that.  Tulio Tanaka and the Boys in the Back.
• Both teams looking for a set piece or a cross to grab their goal.
• Kawashima just kneed the boy band leader in the face.  Awesome.
• This has settled back into a lull (*crosses fingers*)…
• 20 minutes go to; 1 goal should take this.  Paraguay asking a lot of Japan’s back line.
• Barreto on for Ortigoza.
• Both teams evenly matched in terms of their lack of creativity.  They’re waiting for the perfect passes to just illuminate themselves rather than going out and inventing them with skill and movement.
• The Nakamura not named Shunsuke comes on for Abe.
• Replay shows the forest moon of Endo catching a red-cardable elbow in the head.  Lucky for Paraguay.
• 90th minute now.  Anything but extra time would be unfair.
• Free kick for Japan.  Too far for a shot, in case you were wondering…
• …Tanaka at full stretch couldn’t flick it towards goal.
• Honda gets a yellow card from an overeager referee.
• End of Regulation, 0-0.
• Two 15-minute halves of extra time.
• This will be our second knockout game going past the 90, with US-Ghana being the first.  If you took my betting advice, you’d be a wealthy human now.
• All of Japan huddled up together, bowing.  This is why I’d highlighted them as my best teamworking team to cheer for.
• My laptop battery can’t hang with Japan-Paraguay.  I’ll stay with you as long as I can, then I’ll have to go retro on my commentary after that.
• Cardozo on for Santa Cruz– Paraguay’s final substitution.
• Japan defending, blocking point blank shots like lions!
• So many pairs of Paraguayan heads in hands as they cannot fathom how they’ve stayed off the scoresheet in extra time.
• Darke and Harkes giving Tanaka MOTM.  There’s still too much time for that, guys.
• Halftime in the minigame.  Heading to the final final 15 minutes.  Penalties loom.
• I’m not making it through this…
• Tamada on for Okubo; Japan’s final sub.  The coaches have made all their moves.
• The players are digging deep and so am I.  Cramps lurking everywhere.
• Stoppages in play are getting milked like Sunday cows.  I think both sides would take penalties now.
• Japan with a rare break but it’s pulled back too far.  4 minutes until penalties.  Computer dying.  Honda stretching his left leg.
• And I’m off.  Retro notes to follow…
• Penalties!
• Finally, one I can enjoy as a hundred percent neutral– and yet my nerves still feel like one of the coaches is gonna ask me to step up into the fifth spot.
• Villar is like a stone; even all the hugs and love from his teammates won’t alter his demeanor.
• Both teams huddling up like Japan did.
• Tulio Tanaka wearing a jacket from the Matrix– so BA.
• Paraguay are going first…
• Barreto MAKE. 1-0.
• Endo MAKE, after standing there for an eternity.  1-1.
• Barrios MAKE, barely past Kawashima.  2-1.
• Hasebe MAKE, 2-2.
• Riveros MAKE, cheeky.  3-2.
• Komano MISS– oh no, the defender hits it off the crossbar.  3-2 Paraguay.
• Valdez MAKE, right down Broadway hard. 4-2.
• Honda MAKE, Broadway again but barely trickles it in.  4-3 Paraguay.  A make for the South Americans ends it now.
• It’s OVER!  Cardozo makes his penalty to win the shootout 5-3!  Paraguay win the game!

Well, it was a thrilling conclusion to a stale loaf of football match.  The Paraguayans were perfect in the penalty shootout, so there’s no complaining for Japan.  But inside, they’ll be feeling remorse and guilt for not taking their chances when they had them.  Komano will be especially disappointed, having overcooked his effort by a matter of inches.  One of the great, collaborative teams in the tournament are now sadly out.

Paraguay now will face the winner of Spain/Portugal, albeit with some very heavy legs and emotionally drained.  It’s their first foray into the QF stages of the World Cup and they’ll need to take the clinical display exhibited in penalties into the next match to maintain any hope of keeping the dream alive.

If you’ve been listening to the talking heads, then you know this game is already over.  Chile never stood a chance and were battered 6-0 by the Samba Boys.  It was a massacre and another notch in the Brazilian post… But you don’t believe everything you hear on television, do you?

The Brazilians topped the misleadingly-named Group of Death (G).  They barely edged North Korea 2-1, beat a disappointing Ivory Coast 3-1, then drew 0-0 with Portugal to finish on 7 points.  At times they’ve been their majestic best, but only at times.  The only true “big team” they faced, they drew.  On reputation they still deserve my respect, but I’d be lying if I said I’ve been impressed so far.  Hey, they were perfect in their group in 2006 and crashed out disappointingly in the quarterfinals.

Still– Kaka, Luis Fabiano, Lucio, Maicon, Dani Alves, Robinho form a core that’s capable of beating anyone.  Wouldn’t dare tell you the opposite.  They’ll never get mauled, that’s for sure.  They have all the talent in the world– if they find a way to make it count.

Nilmar Garciaparra

So of course it’s going to be a major battle for Chile.  No denying that, especially with Estrada, Ponce, and Medel all suspended.  The Group H runner up on 6 points, for all its attacking play (so fun to watch), has only scored 1 goal in each match.  1-0 victories over Honduras then Switzerland were deemed successful, the final 1-2 defeat at the hands of Spain not so.   A win by the Swiss on that final day and we wouldn’t even be talking about Chile.

But like their famous flag emerging from the earthquake wreckage, the Chileans remained to see another day.  And with the explosive and youthful midfield trio of Alexis Sanchez, Matias Fernandez, and Mark Gonzalez– anything is possible.  They may not have fared well against the Brazilians in CONMEBOL qualifiers, but they were only 1 point behind them when all was said and done.  It should be close again today, in the end.

As always, forgive my typos and hit refresh every few minutes to get live updates to my running commentary:

• Matias Fernandez starts on the bench for Chile.
• Dani Alves starts on the right wing just ahead of Maicon at right back.  Robinho and Kaka return to the lineup, as expected.
• Ramires partners Gilberto Silva, Melo (injured) on the bench.
• Brazil well represented in the crowd.
• Chileans all wearing the same boots.
• Julio Cesar has has shorts low and socks his high.  Long sleeves tucked into his gloves.  I can’t see an inch of his flesh, the green clad vampire.
• Maicon is basically Cafu nowadays, huh?
• Gilberto Silva rips a shot that makes Bravo fully extend to push it to safety.
• Brazil knocking on the door now.
• Chile are looking to play a little faster than they’re capable of doing.  Brazil getting a little lazy in their shot selection (long range efforts, namely).
• Selfish by Sanchez who ignores his streaking teammates to shoot– blocked.
• At some point, there HAS to be a fairly large upset in the knockout round, right?  Doesn’t get much bigger than the 5-time winners…
• Lucio makes a meal out of a trailing leg in the box but Howard Webb doesn’t give him any satisfaction.
• Kaka booked.  Ever since he left Milan/got married to his teenage wife, he’s looked all sorts of miserable on the pitch.
• GOAL BRAZIL!  1-0 as Juan heads home a Maicon corner!  The height of Brazil was a major concern for the Chileans approaching this match, and we’ve seen it firsthand now.
• I’ve said it before but it bears repeating– Brazil’s greatest strength is their defense.
• GOAL BRAZIL! 2-0 as Luis Fabiano rounds Bravo and taps it into the net.  Chileans caught badly on a break.  They’re losing their mental concentration a la Mexico yesterday.
• Still don’t understand how Sevilla has held onto Fabiano for so long.
• Halftime, 2-0 Brazil.
• Finally!  Must say– this is the first 45 minutes I’ve been thoroughly impressed with Brazil.  They’ve been on cruise control, closing down Chile and swarming forward in numbers.  It feels like they have a man advantage the way they’re circling their fellow South Americans.
• Just a reminder though.  There have been no shutouts in the knockout round so far.  Just a stat.
• 2nd half underway.
• Beausejour has been clever for Chile, if there’s a positive to give them.  They’ve also made to subs at the break.  No Fernandez yet.
• Bit of a better start for Chile.  It’s up to them to alter the affair.
• Too many backheels to count– both sides.
• Brazil breaking with some quick passes, looking to turn the screw.
• Jogi Loew in the crowd, taking notes.  Germany wouldn’t meet the winner of this match until the Final, so I guess he’s pretty confident in his side…
• GOAL BRAZIL!  3-0 as Ramires runs through the heart of Chile and lays it off for Robinho to bend into the corner.  What a run by Ramires.
• Millar on for Isla.  Would love for someone to tell me why Matias Fernandez is not in this game.
• Even the savant Alexis Sanchez looks out of ideas.
• Valdivia fires one just over.  On cue, a wave of inspiration has hit the Chileans out of nowhere.  The no-look flicks in the box might be a tad unnecessary when you need 3 goals.
• Ramires booked, misses next match.  He’s been one of Brazil’s better performers, but this probably makes Dunga’s job easier if Melo is fit again to play Holland.
• Fabiano off, Nilmahhhhhh comes on.
• Kleberson for Kaka.  Manchester United’s greatest ever player.  I’d like to retroactively make the same joke for Liverpool via Cameroon’s Rigobert Song– gotta be fair.
• Half chances abundant now entering injury time but no end product.
• Fulltime, Brazil 3-0.

Chile were outmuscled and outclassed tonight.  They stayed true to their entertaining form for the entire tournament, and can go home with some pride despite losing 3-0.

Brazil at last, looked very Brazilian.  Their 3 goals tonight demonstrated how capable they are of scoring from every dimension– headed free kick, quick passing counterattack, individual dribbling.  I’m finally ready to give Brazil credit as they prepare for their quarterfinal match with the Netherlands (although I’ll still remind you Brazil beat Ghana 3-0 as they did today before losing in, yup, the quarterfinal round).  Mouthwatering stuff.

Our first mismatch apparent.  The unfashionable (see above photo) Slovaks caused a major faux pas by eliminating Italy on the final group day.  Now they encounter a much more in-form and favored squad in the Netherlands.

Let’s start with the underdogs.  They were wasteful against New Zealand but believed they had the win until a late, late, late Kiwi equalizer finished the match 1-1.  Then they were woefully outclassed by Paraguay 2-0.  Finally, looking dead and buried, they stormed past Italy 3-2 in an insta-classic to take the second spot on 4 points in Group F.

The thing about Slovakia is that they have most of the important pieces.  They have hard nosed defenders led by Skrtel, two creative sparks in Hamsik and Weiss, and a striker in touch with his goalscoring side called Vittek.  There’s more talent in the side than most give them credit for, no doubt.  But it’s underperforming, failing to live up to their standards that’s been their weakness.  The trend of their play depends how you look at it though– either they were absolute feces for 2 of 3 games (bad sign), or they finally were excellent in their last game (good sign).  Eye of the beholder with the Slovaks.

I suppose it’s not that different for Holland either.  Yes, they had a perfect 9 points to win Group E; but they never quite hit the free flowing top gear that’s been their trademark.  They beat Denmark (who turned out to be nothing special) 2-0, with the break finally coming via an own goal.  Then they barely edged Japan 1-0.  Finally they beat an already-eliminated Cameroon just 2-1.  No total football massacres or intra-squad goal competitions.

So you can choose to praise Holland for winning all their matches despite not operating at their best, or you can label them ripe for the picking.  I had the Dutch playing in the World Cup Final in my bracket (since forever, it seems), but I think we could see our first major upset today.  It’s like this:

Slovakia started the final match in last place.  Things were out of their hands.  They were already making iPod playlists for the flight home.  Then they pulled the rabbit out of the hat, got some luck with the other match, and presto– here they are.  So the confidence from Italy’s scalp is there; but more importantly, they’re playing with house money.  No pressure.  Anything the Slovaks do from here is an added bonus.  That’s just the sort of attitude an underdog needs to beat a traditional powerhouse.  Today seems like a good day for a revolution, don’t you think?

As always, forgive my typo disease and hit refresh every few minutes to get live updates to my running commentary:

• Time’s up, let’s do this.  Baby Weiss starts for Slovakia.
• Robben, Sneijder, Kuyt, Van Perise = the front 4 for Netherlands.
• Both teams feel obligated to attack, which is nice for the viewers.
• RVP heads just wide.  Holland pressing, but then come Slovakia.
• Seen Frank de Boer a million times as an assistant to Van Marwijk– has his twin Ronald fallen off the face of the earth?  Did he get cut from the coaching staff?  The latter makes for good giggles, so I’m going with that story.
• “Velvet Divorce” just sounds like a fancy cake or a Flock of Seagulls song.
• GOAL NETHERLANDS!  1-0 after Robben controls a long pass and cuts inside to shoot from his favored left foot.  Lovely take, but have Slovakia never seen him play before?  That’s his bread and butter– I said “uh oh” as soon as they backed off and showed him inside.
• You know how they say married couples starts to look alike after time?  Well I wouldn’t go that far, but I think Robben and Sneijder are in the middle of a 7 year engagement….
• Referee starting to exercise his whistle.  Ally McCoist recalls the glory days when broken legs weren’t even yellow cards and careers were constantly cut short by injury.
• The chains are back on Slovakia– they can’t get anything going.
• Kucka’s left leg is from the future.  Some sort of neon exoskeleton by my reckoning…
• The Dutch only have one goal but they’re not bothered about anything else.  Haven’t seen this much sitting on 1 solitary egg since March of the Penguins.
• See, when the game gets a bit boring, the jokes start to come in droves.  When it gets exciting, I let the action entertain.  Not rocket surgery.
• Halftime, Netherlands 1-0.
• Steve Macca agrees with my “uh oh” moment.  It’s criminal to allow Robben to have a go with his left.  Skrtel should’ve known enough to scream at his teammates.
• 2nd half underway.
• Hamsik making his forward runs but nobody can get the ball to him.
• Robben inches wide!  The exact same shot, this time to the far post, is well saved by Mucha.
• Mucha then denies RVP from point blank.  Orange everywhere!
• Slovakia need to convince themselves they’re playing Italy and start getting the ball wide, switching it.
• Holland have not lost a single competitive match since Russia knocked them out of EURO 2008.  That’s ridiculous– in case you didn’t realize it.
• No one helps up more fallen opponents than Dirk Kuyt.
• Kucka says enough already and tries one from way out.  Still can’t get a shot on target, the Slovaks.
• Arjen Robben is getting sponge bathed in praise.
• Stoch cuts inside and fires a bullet that’s tipped for a corner.  Finally a chance as Hamsik found him wide.
• Immediately after, Vittek gets the ball fed through the center– only Stekelenburg to beat and the keeper is relieved to see the shot right at him.  Where has this been?
• Elia on for Robben.  Still not fit, but always deadly… and bald.
• Kuyt unloads from a distance forcing a great save– corner.
• Goal #2 is on its way.  70% chance it’s for Holland.
• The ball is miraculously finding Vittek– not that Slovakia aren’t tying to gt it to him, but the way it’s rebounding towards him is absurd.  He’s magnetic!  Just can’t get a clean shot off.
• Van Huntelaar for RVP.
• GOAL NETHERLANDS!  2-0 after Slovakia falls apart in the back.  Kuyt dinks it past the onrushing Mucha and rolls it to Sneijder who puts in in the unminded net.  Slovakia forgot about the defending part of this game.
• All changes for Slovakia made; Hamsik one of the departed.  May his World Cup rest in peace.
• Injury time.  Dutch playing monkey-in-the-middle with their kid brother Slovaks.
• Penalty for Slovakia!  Vittek had another deflected ball find him– Stekelenburg brought him down.
• GOAL SLOVAKIA!  Vittek buries it low left, but the final whistle sounds before the restart.
• Fulltime, 2-1 Netherlands.

Too little too late for Slovakia.  The captain of my once-forgotten fantasy team (Senor Villa), is especially livid with Weiss Sr. for subbing off Hamsik before the penalty decision.  That’s what he’s there for, dummy!  It was always uphill for them, and if they can take something from this game it’s the final scoreline.

But it’s the quarterfinals for Holland; they’ll have the winner of the later contest between Chile-Brazil.  Robben was a major boost today but again the Dutch did the minimum amount of work necessary to beat an inferior team.  That cannot continue– simply due to the fact that their next opponent will be no minnow.  A few dangerous balls deflected through to give the Slovaks chances, but the Dutch 6-man defense was overall successful in smothering the opposition.  Their quartet of attackers gave them 2 goals, which again, was enough.  Just enough.

Barely in the wake of Germany-England and we already find ourselves bombarded with another grudge match.  Playing for the privilege of tussling with the Germans are red hot Argentina and unpredictable Mexico.

In the same stage at the World Cup 4 years ago the two teams put on one of the games of the tournament.  THE GOAL of the Cup, a stunning Maxi Rodriguez volley physicists to this day are unable to explain, saw Argentina prevail in extra time.  It was a moment I’m sure neither side has forgotten.

In this year’s WC, the Argentines have again earned the tag of favorites.  A well deserved 1-0 win over Nigeria, a 4-1 thrashing of South Korea, and comfortable 2-0 win over Greece speak to their strong play.  All this, and Messi has yet to find the net.  That’s a frightening proposition, as is his supporting cast.  Tevez, Higuain, Di Maria, Aguero, Milito– that’s the Freddy Kruger of nightmares for opposing defenses.

Still, Maradona’s coaching was a major cause for concern approaching South Africa and many people foolishly wrote off Argentina early.  When Argentina rallied to qualify on the final day of CONMEBOL, he jubilantly told the press to “suck it.”  After going perfect in Group B, he’s given us this little gem.  “Many journalists should apologize to the players.  I’m not suggesting you drop your trousers, but it would be honest and great so we all get along better.”  Can’t you just see Maradona telling us all to do one when Argentina are crowned World Cup Champions?

Savior for El Tri?

But if that moment is to be, they must overcome a mercurial and underrated Mexican team.  The Mexicans came back to draw hosts South Africa 1-1 in the tournament opener, thoroughly outclassed France 2-0, then were slightly edged 1-0 by Uruguay to finish as runner-up from Group A.  1-1-1 is a fitting record for a team whose identity is still uncertain.  Aguirre, like many of us, don’t know who the preferred forwards are.  And will the real Mexican captain stand up, please?  The only thing consistent about the Mexicans is their commitment to playing an attacking, possession style of football.

Can Mexico avenge its 2006 loss?  At what point will Leo Messi break his goal fast?  How will the Argentine defense cope with the speed of Mexico’s wingers?  Will Maradona act dramatically throughout the match?  Okay, we know the answer to that one– still, this should be a thrilling encounter of two nations with traditions of playing lively football.

Heading out to watch this with my Mexican side of the family (and my Puerto Rican Uncle Tony– shout out).  Check back after the game to get my retro commentary!  A few teasers below…

• I may have picked Argentina as a potential WC winner, and I still they they could do it, but gosh I hope Mexico win.
• This might be best side Aguirre has fielded, with the exception of Bofo (Adolfo Bautista).  Hernandez (FINALLY), Dos Santos, and Guardado all join him in the attack.  Blanco still could play a role, but he’s best coming off the bench in the final 10 minutes.  If he does, he will average 1 chipped ball over the top per minutes.
• Marquez and Torrado anchor the midfield.  Which will be captain?
• For the Argies– Messi, Tevez, Higuain, and Di Maria attack.  Maxi and Mascherano a bit deeper.  No surprises really, except for Otamendi at right back.  Basically, Maradona is just daring everyone to try to stop his juggernaut of attackers.  I’d do the exact same.
• Wearing my Hugo Sanchez jersey…
• Here we go, the ball is rolling now…
• Nothing makes Mexican fans cringe like the name “Bofo.”
• Marquez as captain– makes sense.
• It’s the 1st time at the World Cup we’ve seen toilet paper streamers make it onto the pitch.  That WOULD happen at MEX-ARG.  On cue, the game is halted until it’s all removed.  Perez getting some early exercise.
• Mexicans dominate the early possession, which isn’t exactly surprising.
• Salcido rips a shot from some 30 yards out that careens off the crossbar.  Romero had no idea what just happened.
• Almost immediately after, Guardado send a bender inches wide of the back post.  Two close efforts but nothing to show for them.
• Watching Maradona and his assistants– which joke to go with?  1. They have more oil slicks in their hair than the BP spill or 2.  They look more like a cartel than a coaching staff.  I think 2 gets the nod.
• Tevez has been overhitting passes, giving Mexico a reprieve.
• Messi– can’t be stopped, only contained.  Think that’s the plan today for Mexico.
• GOAL ARGENTINA!  1-0 thanks to a Tevez header.  Uh oh, looks like it was offside.  Perez beat Tevez to a through ball only to have Messi chip the rebound to Tevez to finish.  Only problem, Tevez was well behind both Mexican defenders and the goal should have been disallowed.  Mexican players swarming the linseman and the ref comes to discuss… the goal stands.
• That’s too bad.  Another shocking decision brings the game into disrepute.  The Mexican players are furious and they need to make sure they don’t do something stupid to get sent off– Mexico’s perennial weakness is getting easily flustered and losing their composure.
• On cue, yellow for Marquez.  He was one of the main arguers after the “goal.”
• Maradona has gone into ultra armpit mode.  No fingers visible at all.
• GOAL ARGENTINA!  2-0 as Higuain rounds Perez to punch it in the open net.  Osorio had the ball completely alone on the edge of the box and somehow mishit it straight into the path of Higuain who was happy to oblige.  What a defensive blunder, what a mental lapse– never seen a touch like that before.
• That’s the meltdown I was worried about.  This 2nd goal came as a direct result from the emotional distress of the bad call putting Mexico 1-0 down.  Think that’s pretty obvious.
• Osorio is very spooked now.  He’s having a nightmare.
• The Argies in full flight now at 30,000 feet.  Mexico are looking a little down and out but 1 goal would change everything (thanks ESPN, now you’ve infected me).
• The Mexicans put together a couple attacking movements right before half but can’t find the net.  Still some life in this affair.
• Halftime, Argentina 2-0.
• Yikes, bad break for Mexico.  They haven’t looked the same since the Tevez goal.  That blown decision seems to have altered the makeup of this game completely.  But they have to try to overcome it or else they’ll end up like England.
• Barrera on for Bofo to start the 2nd period.  Encouraging.
• The Mexicans (again) pressuring early but Argentina seems content to absorb… and wait…
• GOAL ARGENTINA!  3-0 with Tevez unleashing a corker from outside the box.  This time there’s no controversy– that was a splendid strike.
• Watching him hug Maradona in celebration reminds me how much these players want to win for their coach.  Never underestimate that quality.
• The wheels have fallen off the Mexican wagon completely.  It’s looking increasingly impossible.
• Salcido still shooting from deep; Romero still looking a bit shaky.
• As crazy and contradictory as it sounds, the Mexicans are not as outclassed in this game as 3-0 makes it sound.
• A Mexican shot almost trickles over the goal line but it’s cleared away.  Replay… never comes.  Must not have been that close.
• GOAL MEXICO!  Hernandez pulls one back– a brilliant turn on the 18 and a powerful left footed shot near post.
• Some 20 minutes left…
• Heinze rolling around on the ground.  I can’t tell is he’s been elbowed or if his face is just that bruised-looking by nature.
• The Mexicans need to whip balls into the box– instead they’re forcing it unsuccessfully through the middle.
• 5 minutes + injury time left.  Mexico hasn’t been able to seriously threaten since the Hernandez goal.  They’re trying to score both the goals they need with one shot… doesn’t work that way.
• Injury time and Mexico can’t recover the ball; hardly had a touch since the end of the 90.
• Fulltime, 3-1 Argentina!

It was a mixture of misfortune and mismatch for Mexico.  The first Tevez goal really wasn’t, and it seemed to carry over into Osorio’s mental lapse.  Aside from those, it was 1-1 with two superb goals and a possible repeat of extra time like 2006.  However, Argentina took their foot off the pedal with the lead so who’s to say they wouldn’t have scored more if they needed them– I won’t say it.

The Mexicans are swarming the referee after the final whistle, repeating their petulance following the first goal.  Their journey has come to an end in rather unfortunate circumstances.  CONCACAF must wait another 4 years to go for its first World Cup.  Meanwhile, Maradona and his players are ecstatic.  They’ve secured a date with Germany in the quarterfinals recalling yet another recent rivalry (more to come on that in the buildup).  That’s it for now…

Ah yes, there’s no cultural sensitivity like German cultural sensitivity.  I thought about merely posting this video (along with a clip from Dam Busters)as the buildup but it would be too easily construed that I’m bitter about the US getting knocked out.  I mean I am, but the World Cup is meant to be enjoyed.  Still plenty of action for true football fans.

So here we are with England playing Germany.  Here’s our obligatory history lesson– minus s a few off the field things  (what’s a couple World Wars between friends?):

This will be the fifth World Cup meeting between England and Germany, and they’ve been tied after 90 minutes in each of the previous four.  England scored a disputed goal in extra time to win the 1966 World Cup final, Germany came from 2-0 down to win at the 1970 tournament, a 0-0 draw was contested in 1982 and Germany won a penalty shootout in the 1990 semifinals…  The Germans also defeated England on penalties at the 1996 European Championship, and have enjoyed a history of success in shootouts in this rivalry.

Okay.  So we’ve got that out of the way.  What about these teams?  Let’s start with Germany.

Here’s the WC2010 highlights of the Group D winners.  They began comprehensively thumping Australia 4-0.  Then they were upset by Serbia 1-0, albeit with the help of a controversial early sending off.  Then they finished beating Ghana 1-0 courtesy of an Ozil strike that you have to check out, in case you haven’t seen it yet.

The Germans have looked strong and only receive more credit watching Ghana best the United States a few hours ago.  Schweinsteiger may miss with injury, which would be a huge loss, but the return of Klose would be a help.  As long as Mario Gomez doesn’t see the field, the Germans should be fine.  Balanced in attack, balanced in defense, the question mark over the goalkeeper officially erased– they are the favorites and have history on their side.

"Some people are on the pitch, they think it's all over! It is now!"

What to make of the English?  Here are the specs for the Group C runner-up.  An opening 1-1 draw with the Yanks, a snoozefest draw with Algeria, then finally a 1-0 win over Slovenia.  For most of the World Cup they’ve looked every bit the opposite of the Germans.  Disorganization, disunity, dysfunction.  Dyslexia?  Possibly.  Yet they advanced.  There’s no way they can possibly play as disappointingly as they have thus far, so it’s only looking up.  The starting of Defoe over Heskey against Slovenia allowed them to play a much cleaner game– look for that to continue against the Germans.

Which England shows up against Germany– your guess is as good as mine.  Psychologically, the Germans hold the advantage (although the England boys will never admit it).  The closer it gets to penalties, the more pressure will bear down on England.  But you also get the feeling that Rooney, Lampard, and the others are simply too good to remain anonymous forever.  When it rains it pours, and the heavy English thunderclouds are rolling in.  Should be a good one .

As always, forgive my typo disease and hit refresh every few minutes for live updates to my running commentary:

• Here we go.  Lineups as expected, with Schweinsteiger and Boateng featuring for Germany.
• England unchanged.  Defoe partners Heskey up top.
• The English pretty off key singing “God Save the Queen.”  Milner takes the silent road.
• Gerrard starts brightly.  He’s getting plenty of touches, spraying the ball around.
• Ozil gets behind Ashley Cole and Upson– David James has to make a reaction save on a tight angle.  As long as he doesn’t have to do any thinking, England should be fine.
• Seeing Jerome Boateng brings up painful memories for American fans.  It’s like trying to get over a bad breakup and having to share a cubicle with your ex’s twin.
• Germans looking to go through Lahm.  He’s always excellent for his country but ironically the man he’s clashing with, A. Cole, has been one of England’s best players this tournament.  England have been so poor and Germany attack the one place they AREN’T vulnerable.
• GOAL GERMANY!  1-0 after Klose beasts the English CBs and James looks hopeless and Klose pokes the ball into the corner.
• How important is Miroslav Klose to Germany?  Check every tournament he’s played in and he’s always in the hunt for the Golden Boot.  (That’s why he’s on my fantasy team)…
• Fabio Capello wins the award for Split Personality Coach.  He’s very mellow and polite with the media, but during the matches he goes Mr. Hyde with the sort of crazy screaming that makes his assistant Stuart Pearce whimper.
• Klose denied a 2nd goal by the foot of James!  He was clean through by some slick passing from Khedira and Muller.  Should be 2-0.
• Defoe heads off the bar, but offside.  Still more than Rooney has done in 3+ World Cup games.
• GOAL GERMANY!  It’s 2-0 now after Podolski smashes one inside the side netting.  James got megged, English defense in shambles.  Shambolic.  Shamwow!
• A dangerous Milner cross almost rebounds into the net but it’s cleared away.
• GOAL ENGLAND!  They pull one back as Upson heads in a perfect Gerrard cross.
• Almost a 2nd as Lampard’s shot hits the bar and clearly bounces over the goal line.  England livid as they should be!
• Almost the 3rd for Germany second later as Podolski rips one inches wide.  James could only look on.  Furious pace as we head to the break.
• The Germans are opting for clever, incisive passing and the English are going more direct and aerial.
• It’s not even halftime and this already looks like penalties to me.
• Halftime.  2-1 Germany.
• Okay, here’s my take on how England were robbed of their 2nd goal by a linesman’s error.  It’s not right and I understand English fans’ frustration.  That said, if it was against any other team, I’d agree.  But, considering England stole the 1966 World Cup Final with similar circumstances (ball not over the line ruled as a goal), there’s a strong sense of poetic justice.  History indeed repeats itself.  Finally, if England don’t go on to level/win this, American fans will certainly remind the English how you have to overcome terrible breaks and disallowed goals.  Finally finally,  the whole country of England would explode. The media, the players, and the fans would ignite into an inferno of hatred and whining.  Just saying.
• Second half underway.  England seem determined to get back into this quickly.
• Gerrard lashes one wide of near post.
• Lampard fires a free kick off the bar!  So close.  He’s flipped the switch today, gotta give him credit.  Now Rooney needs to match his efforts.
• I don’t care what genetics say– Podolski and Schweinsteiger are related.  Have to be.
• “Dangerous back pass from Steven Gerrard.”  Just ask Thierry Henry about those.
• The Red Sea opens for Muller whose poke is blocked by Cole.
• Boateng makes an important block on Milner’s shot.  England really throwing caution to the wind.
• Joe Cole on for Milner.  My Chelsea friend who’s been begging for him says, “last chance.”
• GOAL GERMANY!  3-1  A 3v1 break for Germany sees Schweinsteiger play Muller wide.  He smashes one at James who can’t see it as it flies past him.
• GOAL GERMANY!  4-1 as Ozil has free reign in the English half and slips it to Muller who does the easy part.
• Heskey for Defoe.  Almost Crouch time…
• Germans bringing off their stars.  They have another game to worry about, unlike the English.
• MARIO GOMEZ is on.  I said Germany would be fine as long as he didn’t see the field, but I was wrong.  Germany are sitting so pretty they can afford to let him have a go.  It’s like the Make-A-Wish Foundation asked England to not show up.
• I don’t know the German word for “ole” but I’m hearing it a lot now.
• Neuer makes a great block to deny Gerrard a goal.  Not many English players can be proud of their tournament, but Steven Gerrard has played well for his country.
• Shot of Mick Jagger in the crowd.  It may not seem possible but this match has added a few more wrinkles to his raisiny complexion.
• Wright-Phillips on for Glen Johnson, who looks injured.  Might just be pride-strung though.
• Fulltime, 4-1 Germany.

What is it about the Germans?  It could’ve been a very different game had Lampard’s shot been ruled a goal, but luck was with Germany today.  That, and a gulf of skill and desire.  England were picked apart time after time by the German war machine.  With 20+ minutes to play they were already thinking about their next match against Mexico/Argentina.  They cannot be riding anything other than a wave of confidence.  More on them in the preview of their next game.  Well done.

But it’s another World Cup embarrassment for England, quintessentially captured by David Beckham’s blank stare (familiar, much?).  And even with almost half of the tournament yet to play, we can still safely make one final decision: Most Disappointing Player Award goes to Wayne Rooney… I don’t wish to rub salt in the wound, but if he and his teammates had half the fight the American team had shown they could’ve won it all.  So much talent; not enough actualization.  The England boys are coming come– football is not.

Don’t do it.  Don’t you dare start looking ahead to Uruguay.  I know the temptation is great, I feel it too.  But know this– the second anyone starts underestimating Ghana is when they knock us out of this tournament.  How do I know this?  It happened 4 years ago in Germany.

Flashback.  The United States entered the final Group E against Ghana needing a win and some favorable results in Italy-Czech Republic.  It was a given that we had to win, but we also needed Italy to beat the Czechs in order to leapfrog them and the Ghanaians into the second spot.  That’s the moment we lost the game– right there.

We were so focused about not getting screwed by the other result, we lost control of the only thing we could’ve had it over.  The Italians held up their part of the deal, winning 2-0.  The Americans, however, crashed out of the tournament 2-1 to the Ghanaians.

Some nations wait decades, an eternity to get a chance for revenge.  Well, we got ours in the very next World Cup.  Is today the day we realize that dream and reveal our identity as the Count of Monte Cristo?

Our teamsheet (like Ghana’s) is yet to be released, so I can’t confirm what we’ll get, but here’s what I think.  We’ll see the same lineup we had against Algeria, with Onyewu, uh, rested and Bocanegra moved into the center.  Worked well enough last time out, now’s not the time to get too cute.  Bradley has a pretty good idea of his strongest side by now, along with everyone else.

Ghana will likely be as they were with Tagoe and Gyan the danger men, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see Sulley Muntari start.  The Africans haven’t scored many goals (just 2) this World Cup, so they certainly can’t afford to surrender more than 1.  Muntari would help them pressure the Americans and avoid the barrage of attacks the US has trademarked in South Africa.  If Muntari doesn’t start, he could feature early.  He’s a game change for his country.

I mention this, because it’s crucial in determining the style of Ghana.  You know those few minutes at the end of every match where it’s total chaos and both teams are opening up, flying from one goal to another?  It’s squeaky bum time, only a more acute version.  Yeah, that’s how Ghana would try to play the whole game if they could.  They’re pacey and athletic and just try to to bombard and confuse their opponents in the box, hoping something good results from it.  Well, 2 penalties later they seem to have an idea what they’re doing.  Ironically, the game in which they displayed the most composure was their 1-0 defeat to Germany.  Whether they go with Muntari and a more balanced approach will determine how the United States in turn needs to approach them.

If Ghana goes squeaky bum mode, expect something more like the Americans’ game against England.  Patient and conservative, but breaking forward on a moment’s notice.  It won’t be waves of forward movements, but a poignant select few.

If Ghana tries to keep things more disciplined, we’d probably have something more similar to the Americans’ play against Algeria/Slovenia.  Open and aggressive, but possibly requiring a high scoring comeback.  Cardiac central.

Anyone want to be an American hero?

That’s about all I can offer you right now it terms of gameplay.  The old adage is “goals change games,” as ESPN likes to rephrase and pretend they invented (“one goal changes everything”).  And that’s what could very well happen this evening.  One tiny, little goal and all preparations go out the window with one nation’s optimism.

But as a singular American fan, there’s a bigger reason I have little to offer you today– I must confess my stomach is in knots and my heart is already as jittery as a 13-year-old slow dancer.  No way I can go out to watch this one, no way I’ll enjoy it at all, no way I won’t be screaming at my television regardless of what’s happening.  I’ll be miserable and snarling for all 90 minutes and shaking when it’s all said and done.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

As always, forgive my typo plague and hit refresh every few minutes to get live updates to my commentary.  I’ll try my best today, I promise:

• Welcome, everyone.  My name is Seve and I’ll be your pilot for today.  We’re expecting a lot of turbulence so please buckle up and use the little baggies jammed in front of you for all your sick.  We’d like to thank you and your nausea for choosing Footballers Convention for all your World Cup needs.
• As against Algeria, Onyewu is on the bench and Bocanegra fills in next to Demerit.  Bornstein plays at left back and all of America holds her breath, hoping his famous howlers never materialize.  Findley returns to partner Altidore and Gomez crawls back to the bench.  Really miss Charlie Davies…  The only real surprise is Ricardo Clark next to Bradley instead of Edu.
• Prince Tagoe is on the bench for Ghana along with Sulley Muntari.  Looks like they’re keeping their 4-5-1, or something like it.
• Sweet bicycle kick by Michael Strahan.  Where’s that commercial been hiding?
• Don’t the Gods of Sport owe the United States a dubious goal we don’t deserve?  Two wrongly disallowed strikes… just saying, it wouldn’t be too unfair if we got a favorable decision.
• Ian Darke and John Harkes covering this game.  We have the best play-by-play guy and the worst analyst (unless Lalas begins commentating individual games).
• Mom reckons the US team is “good looking.”
• Celebs are on Laker game status.
• A lot of pressure in the midfield.  Both teams not letting the other play freely.
• Dempsey hits one from deep.  Kingson beats it down well, but not super convincingly.
• GOAL GHANA! 1-0 after Kevin-Prince Boateng finishes his own run by beating Hoard near post.
• Another US early concession.  Ugly.  Ricardo Clark turned the ball over (there’s that midfield pressure) and then Howard was way out of position on the goal.  Two essentially unforgivable mistakes.
• Definitely squeaky bum Ghana that showed up tonight.
• Americans looking rattled by that goal.  Harkes can’t hide how ticked he is.
• How’s that Clark/Edu decision looking now, Bob Bradley?
• Ghana finding joy on their left flank.  Cherundolo tucking in a little too far.
• US chasing this game.
• Cherundolo cheap giveaway and fouls for a yellow after the fact.  He’s having a bad time on our right side.
• US 33% possession.  Howard punching everything instead of grabbing the ball.  US looking in a bad place.  So much Charlie work left to do.
• Finally, Bradley makes one of his determined runs and flashes a cross but Kingson is there first.  Some life yet.
• The 4-5-1 is killing the US.  It looks like a youth game with everyone clustering in the middle of the field.  I’m waiting for Dempsey to start looking at airplanes or pick blades of grass.
• Cherundolo misses next match, which might not be the worst thing should the US win this.
• Kingson’s unsteady hands might be the key to scoring an American goal.
• Sub.  Maurice Edu on for Clark.  It’s 30 minutes too late, Bradley.
• The US has been thoroughly outmatched in every aspect of this game– physically, tactically, everything.
• A rare US break sees Findley shoot straight at Kingson.  Better, but it needed to be finished.  There haven’t been too many (if any) opportunities like that for the US.
• Howard makes a good save after Asamoah runs through a misfiring US defense and tests him near post.
• Dempsey and Bradley have been the Americans’ most creative players– but so far, it’s more cartoon illustration than Sistine artistry.
• Halftime, 1-0 Ghana. It’s the same old deficit story for the US, but this time they deservedly trail.  Bob Bradley better have a mean team talk and an ace up his sleeve, because it’s looking pretty dire at this point.
• Feilhaber on for Findley to start the 2nd half.  Once again, I’d like to recall his glorious goal against Mexico in the Gold Cup a couple years ago.  Just to get you thinking of it…
• Feilhaber can’t chip Kingson!  Inches from the equalizer!  Altidore played him through on the 6.
• I will never understand Bob Bradley.  Can a coach be the worst at the World Cup at picking a starting lineup, while also being the best at making substitutions?
• Ghana going for glory shots now– US will take that.
• US has been much better this half.  The Ghanaians are actually letting them touch the ball.  Pretty neat.
• I don’t feel funny today.  I’m trying too hard.  So is Donovan, determined to pick out the teammate who’ll net the goal.  He’s also not very funny.
• Americans starting to go to ground too easily.  Ghanaians not pleased about it.  Yeah, Kevin-Prince, me neither.
• Demerit makes a last ditch tackle to prevent an easy goal for Ghana.  The Americans guilty of overcommitting at times.  Can’t blame them.
• PENALTY FOR THE US!  Dempsey brought down by Jonathan Mensah…
• GOAL UNITED STATES!  Donovan places his penalty off the inside of the right post and it’s all level here.  Replay confirms the penalty was the correct decision.  No controversy now.
• This game is completely on its head.  It’s all diarrhea football at the moment.
• Kingson just beats Altidore to a through ball.  So close.  Ghana free kick now…
• I can’t type.  This is on a knife’s edge, um how many other cliches can I think of?
• Bradley clean through but he can’t get enough power to beat Kingson.  Should’ve should’ve should’ve.  Sanchez in broken record mode.
• Altidore battling to get a long ball and almost turns it into the net.  He thought he was brought down.
• It’s half-chances aplenty for both sides.  7+ minutes remain.
• Injury time now.  Holy cow.
• End of Regulation.  Heading to the pair of 15-minute extra time periods.  1-1 Ghana and the US.
• Bad news for all of you.  My computer is dying– not enough power to get me through the extra time.  Let’s hope the batteries in the American players are much more durable.  I’ll have to post my game notes retroactively, so goodluck for the next 30 minutes…
• Starting extra time.  I haven’t been this nervous since Istanbul 2005, or the last time the US played.
• Both teams looking pretty gassed.
• GOAL GHANA!  Gyan drives a shot over Howard as the two central defenders failed to deal with a nothing clearance. 2-1 Ghana!
• Wow– what is it about the start of a game that makes the Americans leak goals?  It’s like we’ve been conditioned to concede when we hear one whistle; attack at the second whistle.  Always the second half of extra time…
• US looking supergassed while Ghana have been invigorated by their goal.  Too many comeback takes a physical and emotional toll.
• Feilhaber volley– blocked for a corner.  Edu heads wide from the resultant play.
• 2nd half of extra time.
• Ghana is taking diving and feigning injury to a whole new level.  As Ian Darke says though, any country would be doing– it’s up to the referee to put a lid on it and he’s letting them get away with it.  More rolling around, falling over on one’s own volition.  The Ghanaians don’t know it, but it’s doubling the resentment that many Americans still have for the game.  Watching the Africans roll around dramatically while America suffers will only turn off many of the first time viewers, I’m afraid.
• US threatening in the waning minutes of the game.  Too many different half-chances to recall now…
• Fulltime, 2-1 Ghana after extra time!

The Americans are out!  Ghana rolls on to a date with Uruguay in the quarterfinals.  It felt as if the Americans were playing against a whole continent, which in many ways was true.  Heartbreaking for us, but it’s merely the bitter side of the passion that makes the World Cup so amazing.

The US has been the most compelling team to watch in the tournament, hands down, and never looked outclassed for a full 90 minutes.  You get the sense that the US could be playing the tiny Maldives or mighty Brazil and we’ll be making a good game of it either way– something we’ve never been able to say about our national squad before.  Perhaps it’s fitting then that both of the Ghanaian goals came directly from horrible lapses in our defensive concentration.  For all our last gasp dramatics, we were undone by our own mistakes.

But there’s no time to dwell, as the World Cup must go on.  We must force ourselves to watch the rest of the tournament, because when it’s finally our turn, only then can we truly savor the sweetness.  Previews on tomorrow’s games to come later tonight.

Tags: Ghana, United States

At last– the knockout stages of the World Cup.  Extra time, PK’s, all the madness of one team dying to beat another.  How I’ve missed you.  It’s a whole different feel than the mathematically inclined group stages.  Not for the faint of heart.  I know I promised in my previous post to go into greater detail for each of these matchups, but the teams in our first one already got some serious face time.  (No hogging of my attention will be tolerated).

The winner of Group A, Uruguay, takes on South Korea, runner-up from Group B.

Uruguay were very strong with 7 points– they drew 2006 finalist France, beat hosts South Africa, and beat tricky customers Mexico.  Oh, and they conceded not 1 goal.  A plus 4 goal differential is very respectable.  Forlan has been shining brilliantly for them, Suarez is starting to recall his Ajax form, and Lugano is omnipresent in defense.  I’d like to praise Muslera for the 3 clean sheets, but he’s barely even been tested yet so I have no idea if he’s the biz.  They’re the favorites in this game and rightly so.  Like their goalkeeper, Uruguay have yet to encounter peril.

On the other hand, maybe the ease of their group games can be exploited into a state of panic by a fierce, industrious team…  A side like South Korea.  While Argentina stole the headlines of Group B with juggernaut results, the Koreans put on performances that indicate there’s more than meets the eye.  They opened with a workmanlike 2-0 win over Greece, followed by a 4-1 setback to the Argies, then closed with a 2-2 draw with Nigeria (a late penalty saw them settle for a point)– enough to give them 4 points and safe passage to the knockout round.   Unlike Uruguay, the Koreans don’t boast any starpower, unless Park Ji-Sung counts (note: he doesn’t count).  If they’re going to overcome the Group A hotshots, it’s going to have to be a very Korean win– a win for the team, by the team.

As always, forgive my typo disease and hit refresh every few minutes to get live updates to my running commentary:

• National anthems…
• Caceres on the bench for Uruguay, Godin in.
• South Korea look almost the same as what we’ve seen.
• After all the talk (from myself) about Uruguay not conceding any goals, wouldn’t it be something if South Korea snatch an early goal?  Would Uruguay recover or would their heads explode?
• Game underway.  Both sides in attack mode.  Don’t they know they’re supposed to be the defensively disciplined teams?
• Free kick Korea…
• OFF THE POST!  Great effort to the near post– had Muslera beaten but it bounces the wrong way for the Asians.
• GOAL URUGUAY!  1-0 as Suarez finds an open net at the back post and Diego Forlan’s ball gets all the way through to him.
• Ajax form indeed!  Still, the Koreans have to ask themselves why they’re sending out 4 defenders if the don’t want to play today.  All of them ball watching, keeper in no man’s land.
• Every time Uruguay put together an attacking maneuver, I hear their national anthem slash opera act playing in my head.  Dun dun dun dunnnnnn, dah!
• Winner of this gets winner of Ghana/United States, in case you didn’t notice.  No big.
• South Korea on the back foot; Forlan’s hair is getting blonder.
• My favorite South Korean would rather record demos than help his country in the World Cup– Young Son.
• Since that free kick, South Korea have been unable to create any telling play close to the Uruguayan box.
• A minute ago, South Korea gave away a ball at the back that released Suarez with a mile of space between him and Sung-Ryong… was called offside at the time but replay shows he was on.  Could be 2-0 now.  Hope that theoretical “goal” doesn’t haunt the referee.
• Chu-Young shoots just wide.  Muslera was at full stretch.
• I’m hearing that Kim Jong-ill hand selected a group of Bolivian actors to represent the Uruguayan fans here booing the South Koreans.
• Chu-Young is running like a lizard throughout the Uruguayan backline.  He’s hoping to force an error which might be the best way for Korea to score.  Never a good thing when you have to say that about a team.
• Du-Ri fires a rocket from deep that goes over the crossbar– but not by much.  The Koreans would take a wondergoal too, sure.
• A handball denies Pereira’s shot on goal but the ref’s missed it.  Uh oh.
• Halftime. 1-0 Uruguay.  Probably should’ve been 2 or 3 for the South Americans if the referee’s whistle had been a little kinder to them.  But at least you and I still have a game on our hands (3-0 would be well over).
• Victorino on for Godin.  Maybe a knock, maybe they rushed him back prematurely?
• South Korea give the ball away to Suarez who’s a bit selfish shooting from deep– two runners on both sides screaming at him.  How Not to Run a Break by Luis Suarez.
• Chu-Young gets overanxious on a dipping ball– pulls the trigger to volley too early and sends it sailing over.  He was in the right channel, close to goal; could’ve pulled 1 back then.
• Korea just asking questions of Lugano & Co.  Insert joke about Korean/Spanish translations.
• Suarez getting some good service laid right at his feet, but he hasn’t done much since his goal (also served on a silver platter to him).  Getting a sneaking suspicion I know how Suarez was as a kid– not too cool so his parents had to lure “friends” to come over to play by buying him all the newest and neatest toys.  I’ve used this description before, but it seems like a good number of these prima donnas were that way.
• Ji-Sung heads toward the near post and Muslera does well to hold on to it.
• Dong-Gook on for South Korea.
• Mark Sanchez:  “Uruguayan defense is getting tired.”  I concur.  Absorbing a lot of pressure this half.
• GOAL SOUTH KOREA!  1-1 as Chung-Yong heads in to exploit the Uruguayan frailties at the back.  A free kick rebound to him and he floats it over Muslera.
• Sung-Ryong collects a nothing free kick but it looks like he was foolishly close to being over the goal line.  Very close.
• Chung-Yong almost nets another as Ji-Sung picks out his scathing run, but the goalscorer hits it straight at Muslera.
• Suarez beats the offside trap but glances a Thierry Henry header wayward.
• Come on, Dong-Gook!
• The Bolton midfielder has his 2nd of the tournament.  That’s 2 goals for Bolton at the World Cup, 2 for Liverpool.  I think Man U only has 1 (Hernandez, like Jovanovic, can’t score for his new English club since registration isn’t until July 1).
• GOAL URUGUAY!  2-1 with a brilliant Suarez curler.  Now his mom can’t keep away all his new best friends!  He put tremendous bend to beat Sung-Ryong at the far post.
• Suarez off, Fernandez on.
• Dong-Gook slips through but Muslera gets enough of a touch deflate his shot until Lugano can clear off the line.
• Koreans trying to go the lengthy route to Dong-Gook.
• Injury time.  Now or never for the Asians.
• Fulltime. 2-1 Uruguay!

Our first quarterfinalist is Uruguay!  The South Koreans knocked back to Asia!  It’s harsh for the Koreans, who might’ve played most of the match better.  But they weren’t clinical when they needed to be, and it must be mentioned that a few unfavorable decisions went against the Uruguayans.

As the say though, read about it in the papers tomorrow.  Uruguay wins 2-1.  They’ll be closely watching US-Ghana to see who will be playing against them in their next match.  As will all of you, I’m sure.

The group stages are over.  The dead weight has drifted downriver with the current of tarnished pedigrees, unpolished upstarts, and victims of circumstance.   What was once a raw cornucopia of 32 teams has been whittled down to 16 diamonds of the sharpest variety.  Make no mistake– it takes talent, desire, and grit to advance from your group at the World Cup.  There are no supremely “lucky” teams playing anymore.  Every team you watch from this point deserves, has earned the right of your viewership.

While I plan to talk in length about what we’re yet to see in the WC, I’ll do so more explicitly in the preview section of each matchup.  (As I have been doing but in greater detail– if you don’t know, now you know).  At this point, I think the 48 matches we’ve witnessed merit some discussion and reflection.  So let’s take a little look back on what we’ve learned, and maybe if you’re good a slight peek at the future.  Maybe.  Shall we?

My World Cup Champions Prediction:  Before the tournament I picked the three teams I thought had a legitimate chance of winning everything–  Holland, Argentina, and Spain.  I think it’s fairly safe to say I didn’t get this one wrong (phew).  I mean, they all still have a chance, don’t they?  Only two teams went a perfect 3 for 3, 9 points accrued from the group stages– the Dutch and the Argentinians.  You’d have to be Hater of the Year (think Silky Johnson circa 2004) to claim a team that goes perfect isn’t in a great position to be contesting the Finals.

Gelson Fernandes: The Scourge of Spain

And Spain?  Well, that Switzerland debacle certainly put a little scare and some major groans into more than a few Spaniards.  But they were/are simply too good not to advance.  Hell, they still won their group.  I’m not as confident in them going all the way as I was (definitely stuck on the difficult side of the bracket) but they survived their first big test.  I’m not ready to give up on them, and I’d advise you maintain a similar position.  Remember EURO2008, when they were penalty kicks away from being dumped out by Italy in the quarterfinals?  Every championship team has a gut-check hiccup that they overcome.  Spain may have yet another ahead of them, but all the tools to overcome it.

Any teams I’d add?  Well, it would be the ultimate jinx to say the United States, but…. Let’s just say, they have a very doable road to the semifinals.  However, the Americans have made a habit of making the mundane sooooo dramatic, I wouldn’t put it past them to struggle with Ghana.  More on that in a later post.   Other than that, no one else I’d put my weight behind to win it all.  Yes, I know who I’m snubbing.  More on that, RIGHT NOW!

The Brazil Situation:  I don’t know if it reads, but I meant this title as a parody of Pulp Fiction‘s ‘Bonnie Situation.”  Felt compelled to tell you.   Back to the matter at hand.

I’m not overly impressed with Brazil.  Yes, they’re good.  Okay, they’re very good– but so are a lot of teams.  Italy and France were very good, in their own ways, and look at them.  They ain’t got no alibi…  Brazil won the Group of Death, which I definitely got wrong, but I think it’s a misnomer to use “Death” next to Group G unless you’re talking about what might face the North Korean players returning home in failure (I joke, I hope).  If the Ivory Coast wasn’t such a massive disappointment, things could’ve turned out much differently.  (Perhaps this section should be called “The Ivory Coast Situation”)?

The IC were flat against a Portugal side happy to take a draw in the opener (guess they had higher expectations for the Africans too), abysmal and uninspired versus Brazil, and could only score 3 goals against a Korean side that had just been mauled 7-0 and were mailing it in from Pyongyang.  Brazil and Portugal were in the round of 16 before it even began.

Brazil didn’t thrash anyone.  They never had to either, I guess.  I don’t have any convincing metrics to sway you to my side, but I can offer you the fruits of my “eye test.”  The consensus weakest side at the tournament came close to beating them, and I can swear that Brazil were outplayed for good portions of this match.  Then Ivory Coast went limp as mentioned and Brazil got a decent win (fair play there).  Then when they played a team that actually turned out to be a big team, they were held 0-0 by the Portuguese.

People get dazzled by the Brazilians’ pieces of flair and artistry, but I wonder how much substance is there.  Both Korea and Portugal fall in the mold of cagey, positionally disciplined teams– both gave Brazil some alarming problems.  What happens when Brazil needs to beat a team that’s capable of that and counterattacking?  (Oh my god, that’s Chile).  I’m not convinced.  I have the same vibe I did when I saw them in 2006.  That’s basically what it comes down to.  I don’t see the resolve, yet.  Yet.

Wrong Flair

All 5 South American Teams Advanced:  Wow.  I didn’t see this coming.  At least not Uruguay.  I’ve been impressed with Uruguay (read my commentary and you’ll think I’m a closet Uruguayan), but this might be an Ivory Coast addendum.   France were, well, how do you say…

France = Trainwreck:  Italy and the Ivory Coast gave them a major run for their money, but France surpassed all my hopes for a disastrous campaign.  Here’s what I wrote before the tournament.

(NOTE: This France squad is going to be an absolute soap opera in South Africa.  Angry Muslim WAGS, inter-squad romance with a single prostitute, an incompetent superstitious manager ["Leo's don't make good defenders"], and the whole world believing the French cheated their way into the World Cup.  John Terry and Ashley Cole should send them a card.  Can’t wait).

"Who's Coming with me?!"

Never in my wildest dreams did I think the problems would be football related.   But I loved every second of it, and I’m not even Irish.  Sign #658 that Karma exists.  The only sad part is knowing that some superstitious idiot wasted a golden generation of players.  I hope Laurent Blanc reinstates Evra as captain with his first act of power– if only to send a message that Domenech’s reign of terror has truly ended.

Best TEAMWORKING Teams to Root for:  I almost used the term underdog, but it’s not entirely accurate given my choices.  First, let’s hear it for Japan.  No one gave you a chance and there you are playing Paraguay with a good shot of reaching the quarterfinals.  Only a superb Holland team beat you, 1-0.  You have free kick specialists and the resolve I suggested Brazil lacked (just not nearly the talent).  Don’t tell Miller but I’m hoping for a Japanese victory.  *Special mention goes to South Korea in this hardworking category.*

HOMER ALERT!  I’m picking the US as another “can’t help rooting for” side.  I mean, last gasp goals and dramatic comebacks sort of endear our team to any neutral.  We finished above the European powerhouse in the group, and continue to be the team nobody can kill off.  *Special mention goes to Slovakia for doing the same to Italy.*

The “We knew you’d be decent, but wow” award goes to Uruguay.  Deserved group winners, conceded 0 goals.  Impressive.  Forlan has been excellent for them to boot.  *Special mention goes to Chile for challenging Spain.*

Darkhorse Team:  This gets a separate section from my Winners Predictions, because I don’t count them among my favorites.  But if there was ever a team that could sneak into the WC Final, it’s Germany.  It feels awkward to call a team that won 4-0 a darkhorse, but I’m doing it.  The Germans are like bacteria (um, no offense?); no matter what’s crumbling and dying around them, they endure.  Germany is always around at the end of major tournaments and if it holds true they’d have already knocked off their deadliest historical adversaries (England and Argentina).  Just a thought.

Maicon’s Goal Was Definitely Unintentional:  No question.  Many people are saying that he meant it because “you don’t cross a ball with the outside of you foot.”  Two things.  First, it’s Brazil, which means everything is done fancifully unconventionally (or just look at Quaresma of Portugal cross a ball).  Second, you’re right.  You don’t cross a ball like that unless you mess up.  Any player can tell you that when you’re running too fast and you try to cross– you end up scuffing it with the outside of you foot a la Maicon.  He had just looked up to pick out his runner and skewed it.  (See this is another reason why people go gaga over Brazil and I don’t).

Breakout Players That’ll Get Big Offers:  In no particular order…  Vincent Enyeama, Eljero Elia, Alexis Sanchez, Gervinho, Fabio Coentrao, Gio Dos Santos, Mesut Ozil,  Michael Bradley, and Fabio Quagliarella (maybe).

Best Player:  Hmmm.  No clear choice.  Messi looked the best but couldn’t score for the life of him.  Villa scored three big goals and helped support my Torres/Villa theory, so I’m high on him.  Forlan, Tiago, and Sanchez have been great but they benefit from lower expectations.

More likely to score a World Cup goal than Mario Gomez

Worst Player:  It’s hard to pick, so I’m choosing “most disappointing.”  The irony is that I’m giving it to a player still active in the World Cup, so I’ll end up looking stupid when he scores the winning goal in the Final.  Mario Gomez, who’s living off his Stuttgart form from 2 years ago– take a bow son.  The faster Klose returns, the better.

*****

That’s all you get for now.  I already have some good candidates for Goal, Moment, and Team of the Tournament, but those will have to wait until she’s all said and done.  Hey, it SAYS abbreviated right in the title, yeah?

If you didn’t notice, that’s your cue–  stop reading this and go enjoy the World Cup!

The last group.  The final countdown.  Whatever you want to call it, tomorrow the knockout round begins and there are two places still up for grabs.  Who wants to play Brazil and Portugal?

Chile.  Ah, the Chileans.  Would you like to advance?  You’ve done oh so well winning your first two matches to gather 6 points, I think you should try to be the third team to go a perfect 9 points.  Any win or draw will assure you win the group though.

Spain.  I love you.  Your players, your style, your 3 points– everything really.  Don’t be the one that got away.  Win comfortably today over Chile and assure you have a strong enough goal differential to advance.

Switzerland.  You give me such mixed signals.  You might have the bumpiest 3 points of the group.  If you win comfortably today you can advance as well.  Everyone loves surprises.

Honduras.  The Swiss would be a surprise, you’d just be a plain shock.  Not everyone loves shocks, but sometimes they’re necessary.  Beat Switzerland and hope Chile beats Spain, and you might be able to squeeze through with 3 points on goal difference.  Do it.

As always, forgive my typo disease and hit refresh every few minutes to get live updates to my running commentary:

• Okay.  No question which game to watch.  Chile have been the most entertaining side and Spain are probably the best side, who also must win.
• Iniesta and Torres start for Spain.  No Navas, Mata, or Silva.  Everything else as expected.
• Suazo out for Chile.  Mark Gonzalez and Alexis Sanchez will lead the attack (albeit from wide) for Chile.
• Alexander Frei out for the Swiss.  Everything else looks standard for them.  Honduras too (although I don’t really know their side as well, admittedly).
• Spain wearing their navy blue tops– weird looking.
• Spain only have two goals to show for two games.  Villa and Torres must rectify that, especially with goal difference likely playing a role tonight.
• Torres misses a header from a Xavi free kick.  Should’ve at least gotten it on frame.  On cue, he outpaces his defender to force a shot that gets blocked.
• Chile on their heels.  Too early for that, boys.
• A rare break for the South Americans.  Gonzalez can’t get a telling touch on his finish– sails well wide/over the goal.
• Spain looking for the through ball but the Chileans are keen to it– they’ve done their homework on the European Champions.
• Ponce in the book for kicking out at Torres.  He’ll miss the next match and is screaming at the ref.
• You’d expect a Spanish armada bombarding the Chile half, but it hasn’t materialized yet.  Credit to Chile for growing in their own attacks.
• GOAL SPAIN!  Oh my!  David Villa makes it 1-0 with a goal from 50 yards out!  He was almost in his own half when he sent that flying into an open net!  That was such a hard, first-time finish and he executed it perfectly.
• The finish was left footed and excellent, but it also highlights how much Torres helps Villa operate.  El Nino’s galloping run forced the keeper to come way out of the box to beat him to the ball, but it went straight to Villa who didn’t need any prodding to shoot.  Torres stretches defenses and creates spaces behind him, Villa run in and wreaks havoc.
• Chile on the break, Beausejour steaming down the left but pushes it into the side-netting.  You have to admire the Chileans.
• Torres brought down from behind in the box, yet astonishingly no penalty.
• GOAL SPAIN! 2-0 after Iniesta places the ball in the back corner with the inside of his right foot.  Great pullback pass from Villa.
• Estrada SENT OFF!  His second yellow but it’s harsh as he incidentally clipped Torres and brought him down in the buildup to that goal.  It has the feel of a makeup call after missing the takedown of Torres in the box.
• Spain finally knocking the ball around like they’re known to do.  All it took was a 2-0 lead and an opponent sent off.
• Halftime, both games.  Spain lead 2-0 and Switzerland level with Honduras 0-0.
• Spain are in cruise control and Chile on damage limitation.  The other game is apparently a bore-fest, one Brazil and Portugal would be proud of.  One goal there might be enough to see Switzerland or Honduras into the round of 16, if they want it.
• Chile subs:  Paredes and Millar.  They can’t let Spain beat them and ruin their goal differential.  Attack mode.
• Old boy Hakan Yakin on for Switzerland.  Haven’t heard that name in awhile.
• GOAL CHILE!  Millar pulls one back with a shot from outside the box.  Deflection off Pique is a massive stroke of luck, but the Chileans don’t care. 2-1 Spain.
• Inspired substitution indeed.
• Torres subbed off for Fabregas.  He’s been playing injured and Del Bosque doesn’t want to worsen his health any further.
• Alexis Sanchez is having another excellent game.  No way a bigger club doesn’t move for him after the tournament.  The miracles of World Cup stardom are wonderful.
• Villa looks like Bambi on ice when he tries a backflick volley to Xavi.  Any more joking about Villa and he’s going to do something to make me eat my words…
• Spain now in full rhythm.  Villa and Iniesta looking most likely to score.
• Sanchez off.  He’s run himself ragged.
• Still 0-0 in the other game. Almost forgot all about them.  Guess Switzerland don’t want to play Brazil…
• Ponce got slammed into the advertising boards but he must keep fighting.
• Javi Martinez on for Alonso.  HIS ankle took a knock before half– caution by Del Bosque.  He better hope Chile don’t score, or he might be in trouble.
• Frei on for the Swiss.  His side are pressing now, desperate for a goal.
• Sergio Busquets commits a foul just to remind people that he’s alive and he has feelings too!
• Chile having a pants party behind the Spanish backline but they’re continually offside.
• Spain just keeping possession.  2-1 wins them the group.
• Cameras trying to show two superfans from Chile and Spain cheering arm in arm– they get into a bit of a tiff though and we quickly cut away.  Brilliant.
• Spain and Chile playing keep away, getting jeered.  Spain finally abandon the truce.
• This just looks dumb.  Poor Silva is trying to sub on, but Spain are just knocking the ball among the back four.
• Fulltime, 2-1 Spain!  Fulltime in the other, 0-0!

All the knockout places are set.  Switzerland and Honduras will NOT be among them; Spain and Chile will be playing Portugal and Brazil, respectively.  It was frustrating for the former two teams, unable to score in a match begging for shots.  In the other game– all nerves.  Chile hung on to advance and Spain got the victory they needed to win Group H.  It sets up a clash of neighbors in the round of 16.  The Iberian Derby of Spain-Portugal and the CONMEBOL Clash of Brazil-Chile.

The groups are all done.  It’s win or go home from here on out.  Look for my previews (and of course, commentary) to come later this evening.