It really shouldn’t be a laughing matter, but I can’t resist.  While Wigan striker Marlon King will be going to jail for 18 months (read: nightclub assault on a young woman),  Off the Post has provided five quality King crackups.  Actually they provide three and Mr. King furnished the other two.

1. “I’m just out of your league. I’m a millionaire.” -King’s actual attempted pick up line
2. So Marlon King was jailed for failing to score at a club. Which one? Wigan, Hull, Middlesbrough?
3. Sky Sports News is reporting that a top footballer has been jailed for 18 months for groping a young woman and breaking her nose. What a coincidence… so has Marlon King!
4. Marlon King has signed a pre-contract agreement with Notts County ahead of his release from prison.
5. “I got my head down in there and worked hard. I didn’t go in with an attitude.  If I’d gone in there with the attitude, ‘Look at me, I’m Jack-the-lad’ it would have been very different.  But I didn’t.  I never had one problem.  Not everyone that goes to jail is the worst criminal.  Everyone makes mistakes in life… You could get into a fight with someone, hit them and they fall wrong and, that’s it, you’re on a murder charge.  But it doesn’t mean you are the worst criminal.  I’ve got a family now and they’re my priority.  I’m blessed to be playing professional football and I like to think I’m doing things the right way now.  I’ve matured, I suppose.  I can’t blame anyone for what happened when I was younger but I did get in with the wrong crowd.  I felt I could act Jack-the-lad and do what I want.  But you can’t.  When you’re a footballer you’re in the public eye.  A lot of people pay money to see you.  They look up to you and you’ve got to act the right way.” -King in 2008