…But not about this.  Funny how him preparing to face Manchester United makes the main page, but the quiet closure of his Academies goes unreported for two months.  It was only a couple years ago when I couldn’t turn on Fox Soccer without a bombardment of Beckham settling into his Los Angeles niche.  Now, nothing.  Only a reluctant press statement via AEG and his website, AFTER local papers starting reporting the news.

Feel free to bookmark this as the first indicator of the decline of the “Beckham Brand.”  (Well, I can’t take total credit.  The Galaxy’s failure in the MLS Championship and Beckham’s affinity for jumping ship for Europe were probably the first.)  For the past five years or so, his deficiencies as a player have been more than compensated for by his global marketability.  At the time he was eyeballing his move to America, he could’ve sold a ketchup Popsicle to a woman in white gloves (Guti?).  Now his name can’t even keep afloat the one thing he was actually good at, promoting football.

Oh wait, there’s still his underwear modeling career.  The laws of professional sports state that a player can maintain his sex appeal for only 5 to 7 years after retiring, so live it up now, Dave.  Because no one wants to see Eric Cantona in his jockeys, and he can actually act.

Triple Threat? Player, Actor, Musician?

(I’d like to use this time to address 3 other Beckham Brand Fails we’ve witnessed in the last few years. 1.  Remember Beckham appearing in Goal: The Dream Begins and the subsequent sequels nobody is sure actually exist?  He had like one line, and he was really, really bad.  2.  No on watched Victoria’s “Moving to America” special or whatever it was called.  No one.  The highlight was her in an earthquake simulator.  Okay, so I guess I watched.  But I was the only one.  Check Perez Hilton or something if you want the actual viewing numbers.  3.  David Beckham making a cameo on Snoop Dogg’s ill fated show.  He taught Snoop and his kids how to take free kicks then went out to Roscoes with them.  I once thought it was impossible for anything Snoop was a part of to seem awkward and dorky, but thanks Becks for making soccer look like just that to whatever Americans caught that episode.)

I may look like a genius for featuring a picture of Beckham in my last post, days before the news of his closing Academies, but I assure you I am not.  Just Google image search “decline of Serie A” and see for yourself.